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Glenn Beck Makes Hilarious Trans Jokes: I Might Lose My Winkie!

On his radio program today, Glenn Beck and his cohosts Stu Burguiere and Pat Gray chatted about men who see romantic films based on the works of author Nicholas Sparks, such as “The Notebook” and “A Walk to Remember.”

Relying on tired gender stereotypes, the trio ended up joking about how men who see more than three or four Sparks movies are probably questioning their gender — “and there’s nothing wrong with that” — with Beck joking that such men should put “iodine on the winkie” or “cut it off like butter knife.”

“We put iodine on your winkie,” Beck said. “We give you breast enhancements, we give you shots of estrogen.”

As the show went on, of course, it turned out that Beck had seen several Sparks movies himself: “I might be getting genitalia surgery, nothing wrong with that, and you should pay for it. And nothing wrong with that either; we should all have to pay for that.”

Watch the transphobia in action:

Colorado GOPer Gordon Klingenschmitt's 10 Craziest Moments: Homophobia, Exorcisms And More!

Televangelist and Religious Right activist Gordon Klingenschmitt will soon be starting a new job as a Republican member of the Colorado House of Representatives. This is a big promotion for Klingenschmitt, who has until now been laboring away as the host of a TV program called “Pray In Jesus Name,” where he offers his own special brand of unhinged comments on issues ranging from gay rights to Obamacare and the animal kingdom.

Klingenschmitt, an exorcist who goes by the nickname “Dr. Chaps,” has promised to “tone down” his rhetoric now that he’s an elected official, but it will take a whole lot of toning down for him to sound even like a run-of-the-mill extreme anti-gay activist.

In honor of Klingenschmitt’s election by the good people of Colorado Springs, we’ve collected ten of the greatest hits of “Dr. Chaps”:

1) Gays And Democrats Want To Rape Children

After Sen. Al Franken and Rep. Jared Polis introduced the Student Non-Discrimination Act, an anti-bullying bill, Klingenschmitt accused the Democratic officials of wanting to legalize child rape.

“Al Franken (D-MN) wants to require pedophilia in all public schools,” he wrote in an email to supporters, calling the bill the “‘No Child Left Unmolested’ amendment” and the “Sodomite Schools Bill.” Warning that the bill would make “sexual assault protected as ‘freedom of self-expression,’” Klingenschmitt claimed that “child molesting” is “a favorite ‘recruiting’ tool of adult homosexuals. They violate children, and when the victim is later confused, they lie and say ‘you were born that way.’”

In other emails, Klingenschmitt likened Franken to Kim Jong-Il, compared Polis to an ISIS member seeking to behead Christians, and predicted that gay rights laws would cause schools to teach students that “every child has a right to be raped.”

Klingenschmitt has also accused same-sex parents of trying to recruit their children into the “homosexual lifestyle,” claiming that a stock photo of two men and a baby showed one man looking at the infant with “lust” and “ licking his chops”:

2) Obama Is Possessed By Demons, Requires Exorcism

“Dr. Chaps” is so convinced that President Obama is possessed by demonic forces that he wrote actually wrote a book called “ The Demons of Barack H. Obama.”

In the book, Klingenschmitt claims to have uncovered fifty demons “ruling” Obama , including the dark spirits of “sexual abuse,” “genocide,” “paganism,” “witchcraft” and “homosexual lust.”

On his TV show, Klingenschmitt once performed an exorcism “against the demon of tyranny who is using the White House occupant” to “oppress us.”

Klingenschmitt also once boasted of performing an exorcism of a rape survivor who identified as a lesbian: “I looked into her eyes as she began to weep and I said, ‘You foul spirit of lesbianism, this woman has renounced you, come out of her in Jesus’ name.’”

3) Demonic Transgender Kids Need A Good Spanking (And An Exorcism)

Klingenschmitt, who is convinced that “transgendered perverts” want to “violate” children and “recruit them into sexual perversion,” fears that transgender students are “raping, at least visually ,” girls at school.

Discussing a court case brought by the family of a transgender girl seeking to use the women’s restroom at her school, Klingenschmitt said the girl was “possessed by a demon” and needed to “man up.”

“The parents are encouraging that and really what the parents ought to do is take that boy to an exorcist, take that boy to a minister or at least discipline the boy, maybe give him a spanking,” he said.

4) We Will Be Forced To Engage In Sodomy

The televangelist warned last year that while homosexuality is “still illegal in the eyes of God,” now gay rights activists “want to force Christians to participate in their sodomy.”

“If we Christians do not participate in their sodomy, then we can be sued, bankrupted and jailed,” he said. “I don’t think that’s right, I perceive that’s a demonic spirit of tyranny that would come against the Christians and force us to convert to their religion.”

Klingenschmitt has also declared that gay people want to compel Christians to “worship” sodomy and “desecrate” churches “with acts of sodomy performed on the Christian altar.”

5) Gay People ‘Have Something Unhuman Inside Of Them’

Klingenschmitt advised a photographer who faced legal action after denying service to a same-sex couple to go ahead and photograph the couple’s wedding…but print a scripture verse that he interprets to mean that gay people are “worthy of death” on the back of each wedding photo. In another commentary, Klingenschmitt declared that gay people are “cooperating with the Devil and there’s something unhuman inside of them.”

Klingenschmitt reacted to NBA player Jason Collins’ decision to come out of the closet by declaring that the athlete was “demon possessed.” He also worried about the prospect of openly gay players in the NFL “recruiting children into the homosexual lifestyle.”

6) Gay Soldiers Wear Diapers

Despondent over the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Klingenschmitt endorsed a statement by Chaplain John R. Kauffman that “homosexuality is a combat divider, dividing one’s reason to live while taking breaks on the combat field to change diapers all because their treacherous sin causes them to lose control of their bowels.”

7) Gay Animals Are Of The Devil

Klingenschmitt once noted that the appearance of homosexuality and bisexuality in animals happens because “it is possible for demons or the devil to inhabit or invade animals just the same way they invade humans, and that causes the sin of lust.”

8) Obamacare Causes Cancer

Like most other Republicans, Klingenschmitt is no fan of Obamacare. In fact, he believes that “Obamacare causes cancer.” On one episode of his Klingenschmitt, told the “liar” and “imposter” president, “Mr. Obama, you’re not a healing Jesus, you cause cancer with your bad policies.”

9) Obama Will Kill Bundy Ranch Supporters

“Dr. Chaps” believes that all of his listeners should be armed in order to “defend themselves against left-wing crazies.” During the Bundy Ranch standoff, he warned that the government was starting to dig mass graves for the bodies of protesters as a way to “punish the people who are standing for freedom.”

10) Madonna Is Trying To Have Sex With Me!

Klingenschmitt said last year that while it was very nice of Madonna to try to have sex with him through her song “Revolver,” he declined the invitation: “She’s out there seducing people to death and these lyrics resemble the Bible. When she says, ‘Have sex with me and die, have sex with me and die, my love is a killer, do you want to die happy?’ Honestly no, I’d prefer not to die happy. Thank you Madonna, I prefer to live and I prefer to live for God and I’ve been faithful to my wife for 22 years and I don’t think I’ll ever know another woman.”

He also mentioned the well-known fact that “when people repented of pornography they were healed of liver cancer.”

Conservative Activist: Immigration Action Will Trigger 'Civil War'

Richard Viguerie, the renowned conservative campaign operative, is warning that President Obama’s stated plan to use executive action to relieve some undocumented immigrants of the threat of deportation may cause a civil war.

Viguerie told WorldNetDaily yesterday that such a move “could ignite, quite frankly, a civil war across America against the Democratic Party,” which he says has become “an elite special interest party” seen as indifferent and hostile to working Americans.

At least, according to longtime conservative fundraiser Richard Viguerie, who has a warning for President Obama about his stated plans to take executive action on immigration reform even though voters just repudiated his policies by voting his party out of power in the Senate.

“If President Obama, by executive order, extends amnesty to millions of illegal aliens, as he’s promised to do shortly, this could ignite, quite frankly, a civil war across America against the Democratic Party,” Viguerie cautioned.

He continued, “It could be a major, major blow to the Democratic Party and brand them as the party that rewards illegal activity, and it could do great, great damage not only to the Democratic Party, but quite frankly, to America.”



As for the Democrats, Viguerie believes they are alienating white working class voters by supporting amnesty for illegal immigrants, attacking religious freedoms, and attacking gun rights.

“It’s clear that the Democratic Party, the Democratic leaders at the national and state level are being seen more and more as being either hostile to working middle-class Americans, or not engaged in their problems,” he said. “The working class, traditional-value voters are feeling that they’re just not welcome in the Democratic Party. It’s become more of an elite special interest party.”

End Times Radio Host: Obama Will Kill More Than Mao, Stalin And Pol Pot

On yesterday’s edition of “Trunews,” End Times broadcasters Rick Wiles and Steve Quayle got together for a discussion of whether “world leaders [are] preparing for a global Ebola plague.”

The interview drifted into a conversation about Israel’s role in the Last Days, with the commentators warning that President Obama’s foreign policy will lead to a war against Israel.

Wiles asked: “Steve, do you believe that Barack Obama is a potential mass murderer on the scale of Stalin, Mao Zedong, Pol Pot?”

“Yes,” Quayle said. “I think he will supersede them all.”

Michael Savage: GOP Must Impeach Obama, Stop Him Before He 'Triggers An Insurrection'

Reacting to President Obama’s post-election press conference yesterday, right-wing talk show host Michael Savage declared that the president is “not a sound man” and urged Republicans in Congress to impeach him.

Savage argued that a secretive, powerful circle “selected” Obama to become president when he was a high school student at the Punahou School, and now he has gone mad with power:

If you look at his eyes while he’s speaking, and I’m a student of many different things, his eyes are not that of a sound man. The man is not connected to reality, he has always lived in a protected bubble, the skids have been greased for him since childhood. He was hand-selected by a group of very powerful people, early on, way back, I think even before Columbia University, probably at Punahou, he was selected, they made him president. He has never had a defeat like this in his life and it’s not that he doesn’t know how to deal with it, he’s refusing to accept that he had a defeat, it had nothing to do with him, it’s somebody else’s fault.

So what needs to be done? He needs to be impeached. If he keeps this up, if he grants executive amnesty to the illegals, if he goes ahead with all of his crazy garbage on global warming nonsense, he’s got to be impeached. It’s that simple. The time to stop the impeachment movement against Barack Obama will be the day he signs the executive action on amnesty. It’s that simple.

He must be impeached. The Republicans will have nothing to do at that point and that’s when we have to push Rand Paul and the conservatives in the movement, maybe [Joni] Ernst, she may have to go there and she may have to say ‘I’m leading the charge, we’re going to stop the insanity today, we’re going to have to impeach this man because he’s a clear and present danger to the republic.’ It has been done before, it can be done now, there’s no excuse for it.

After describing Obama as the “poster boy” for his book “Liberalism Is a Mental Disorder,” Savage said Obama is being propped up by a “secret cabal of individuals who have hand picked him” and turned him into a “psychopath.”

Savage then wondered if Obama may “try to trigger some sort of insurrection,” warning that administration officials (and George Soros!) might start “planning some kind of phenomenally dangerous action to trigger an insurrection in this country to declare themselves more power. It could happen here, with a man as back to the wall as this and with a man as out of touch with what he did to his own party as this, I would think anything I possible.”

He said Obama’s press conference reminded him of Adolf Hitler and his officers “underground in a bunker with Berlin collapsing around them plotting to still win the war.”

Tucker Carlson: Obama Stoking 'Racial Fears' To Keep Power

Tucker Carlson, the editor-in-chief of the Daily Caller, appeared on conspiracy theorist Alex Jones' Infowars program on Election Day to warn about growing racial divisions in America as a result of immigration and President Obama’s time in office. Carlson said that identity politics based on race are a new feature in U.S. politics and that this development is Obama’s fault, of course. 

He warned that the president is attempting to use “race to divide the country and get out the vote and use racial fears to get their base out to the polls.” “Look around the world," Carlson said. "You've traveled, you know, practically every other country on the planet is divided by ethnic politics. We haven’t been historically but we’re moving in that direction. You don’t even want to play with that stuff and they’re doing it in a big way and it’s reckless.”

After Jones warned that American elites “want to flood us with all these illegals” in order to divide the country and “create that balkanization.”

Carlson agreed: “I don’t think there’s any doubt about it. There’s no doubt that they see immigration as a source of political power and that’s scary.”

Carlson then agreed with Jones’ assessment that the U.S. is turning “into a pure democracy where hordes of illegals will vote away our freedoms,” citing California as a “one-party state that is literally crumbling” due to immigration.

Austin Miles: GOP Congress Must 'Get Obama Out Of Office Immediately'

Rev. Austin Miles is celebrating the midterm election results today with a Renew America column that calls on Republican members of Congress “to get Obama out of office immediately” as their “first act” in office.

The right-wing pastor alleges that Obama “declared the name of Jesus Christ illegal” and “released open homosexuals, cross dressers and transsexuals into army barracks,” adding that “the true story about Obama and Michelle is known by many and is bound to explode eventually.”

In a previous column, Miles cited a satirical article to claim that Michelle Obama is a transgender woman.

Now in power, the Republicans must act swiftly. The first act is to get Obama out of office immediately. His entire "election" was fraudulent with 38,000 unqualified voters confirmed with as many as 2.5 million yet to be classified.



Obama is the first to call any and all public figures who "come out" as homosexuals. His main goal is to promote sexual immorality by ordering the Rainbow Flag to fly over U.S. Embassies around the world, and had the Fire Department in a major city march in a Gay Pride Day parade, in uniform.

The most outrageous of all, is that he had U.S. Military troops march in a Gay Pride Day parade, IN UNIFORM and, now hold on to your seats, give a snappy salute to the Rainbow Flag.

He has released open homosexuals, cross dressers and transsexuals into army barracks which has created numerous problems. Sexual assaults have risen dramatically – men on men! – and has weakened the morale and the strength of our military. Why? The true story about Obama and Michelle is known by many and is bound to explode eventually.

He has declared the name of Jesus Christ illegal and has forbidden military chaplains to say His name in prayers. He even prohibited them from saying, "God bless you" to grieving families at military funerals.

Anti-Gay Crusader Gary Glenn Wins Seat In Michigan State Legislature

Gordon Klingenschmitt may be the most virulently anti-gay candidate to win a state legislative seat this election cycle, but Gary Glenn of Michigan comes in a close second. Glenn, the author of his state’s constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, may not send out warnings about how gay people want to behead Christians or how Democrats are mandating child sexual abuse as Klingenschmitt does, but he has his own special brand of anti-gay politics.

Glenn, a former head of the American Family Association’s Michigan chapter, wants to recriminalize homosexuality, which he says is “a proven threat to public health and safety,” and even filed an unsuccessful lawsuit challenging the 2009 Hate Crimes Prevention Act, falsely alleging that the law would “criminalize the Bible and use the threat of federal prosecutions and long jail sentences to silence Christians.”

Glenn has denounced efforts to curb anti-LGBT bullying in schools as a “Trojan Horse” plot by “homosexual activists” who want to “segregate students” and suggested that schools ban clubs like the Gay-Straight Alliance for “promoting behavior that [is] self-destructive and harmful to young people.” Instead, Glenn thinks that if schools “truly cared about young people who are ensnared by deviant behavior, they would tell them the truth that homosexuality is harmful and to be avoided.”

In previous election cycles, Glenn has attempted to defeat gay Michigan candidates. In a robocall against one gay candidate, he used the word “homosexual” no less than ten times.

He has also urged businesses to refuse to hire “individuals who engage in homosexual behavior given all of its severe medical consequences,” telling employers that “it’s not really bright to engage in behavior that puts you at dramatically higher risk of mental illness and substance abuse and AIDS and cancer and hepatitis, and according to various sources, premature death.”

Glenn even demanded that governors ignore court rulings that strike down same-sex marriage bans.

Citizens United: Our Supreme Court Case Helped Secure GOP Win

A flood of outside spending, much of it undisclosed “dark money,” helped Republicans make significant gains in yesterday’s elections. The Supreme Court’s 2010 Citizens United decision helped trigger the campaign spending avalanche, and so it come as no surprise that Citizens United’s leader David Bossie took a victory lap today in a press conference of conservative activists reacting to the election results.

Citizens United, our Supreme Court case, leveled the playing field and we’re very proud of the impact that had in last night’s election,” he said. “A robust conversation, which is what a level playing field allows, really creates an opportunity for the American people to get information and make good decisions.”

Bossie also accused Senate Democrats of trying to “gut the First Amendment” by voting in favor of a constitutional amendment that would overturn the Supreme Court’s decision in the case.

Five Of The Craziest Conspiracy Theories That The Freshman Republican Class Will Bring To Congress

It turns out that by branding themselves as members of a party that has returned to its mainstream, center-right roots after successfully stamping out a Tea Party rebellion, even “establishment” Republican candidates are able to hold all sorts of extreme views without any consequences.

Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that a party that regularly endorses candidates who deny climate science and denounce evolution has moved the political center so far to the right that even candidates with radical views can still be treated as moderates. These days, Republicans win kudos simply for stating that they don’t want to ban birth control or destroy the economy by refusing to raise the debt ceiling.

This dynamic has allowed any number of conspiracy theories to flourish in the GOP. Here are five conspiracy theories that newly elected members of the United States Congress will be bringing with them to Washington next year:

1) Agenda 21 is Coming!

Agenda 21, a two-decade-old non-binding treaty on sustainable development methods, recently emerged as the latest source of right-wing anxiety.

Ted Cruz predicted that Agenda 21 will bring an end to paved roads and golf courses and Glenn Beck wrote a dystopian thriller about its dire consequences.

Senator-elect Joni Ernst, a Republican of Iowa, shares their fears. Last year, Ernst predicted that Agenda 21 agents may start “moving people off of their agricultural land and consolidating them into city centers and then telling them that you don’t have property rights anymore. These are all things that the UN is behind and it’s bad for the United States, bad for families here in the state of Iowa.”

She later warned that Agenda 21 will compel people to move into designated urban centers and take away our individual liberties, our freedoms as United States citizens.

2) Just Making Stuff Up About ISIS

Never mind the fact that there have been exactly zero official reports of ISIS members coming to the U.S. via the southern border, “closing the border” has emerged as a leading Republican talking point when describing how they plan to fight the terrorist group.

Tom Cotton, the Arkansas congressman who won his race for U.S. Senate yesterday, said during his campaign that his opponent and President Obama are “refusing to secure our border” and as a result, ISIS is now at the gates: “Groups like the Islamic State collaborate with drug cartels in Mexico who have clearly shown they’re willing to expand outside the drug trade into human trafficking and potentially even terrorism. They could infiltrate our defenseless border and attack us right here in places like Arkansas.”

The conspiracy theory about ISIS infiltrating the U.S. through the border with Mexico first emerged on the conspiracy theory outlet WorldNetDaily and, as these things typically go, was then picked up by pundits on Fox News. Eventually, the fallacious claim became a great way for Republican candidates like David Perdue and Thom Tillis to attack their opponents on both foreign policy and immigration reform in one talking point.

3) Beware Blood Moons

While conservative politicians have denounced the science behind climate change as a big lie, some are very interested in the “science” behind “blood moons,” with more Religious Right activists arguing that lunar eclipses are actually signs of God’s impending judgment against America for policies such as abortion rights and LGBT equality.

Jody Hice, a Georgia Republican who just won a seat in the U.S. House, for example, told listeners on his talk radio show that the appearance of blood moons “have preceded world-changing, shaking-type events.”

“I certainly am aware of the fact that every time there have been blood moons like this, there have been major events that have followed,” he said.

Perhaps Congress should move to study blood moons rather than climate change!

4) Gay Recruitment in the Classroom

Are sex-ed classes just a secret plot to turn kids gay? Yes, according to Wisconsin state senator and soon-to-be U.S. Rep. Glenn Grothman, who once warned that some school classes are the result of an “agenda which is left unsaid is that some of those who throw it out as an option would like it if more kids became homosexuals.”

Grothman instead proposed that schools enact their own “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policies, lest growing support for gay rights in the U.S. lead to divine punishment.

Hice, as it happens, shares Grothman concerns about gay recruitment, once citing a satirical 1987 essay to claim that gay people want to “sodomize your sons” and “seduce them in your schools.”

5) Identity of the Antichrist Revealed!

At least one Republican candidate knows the true identity of the Antichrist, and it’s Hillary Clinton.

Ryan Zinke, the successful Montana GOP U.S. House candidate who helped launch the Super PAC Special Operations for America, told a Republican group that Clinton is Satan’s bride, and he knows this to be so because he speaks the truth:

“It’s time to stop the lies. Let’s talk about the truth,” Zinke said. “Who trusts the U.S. government?” he asked rhetorically. “No one in this room. I’ve served in 25 nations. I’ve seen where people don’t trust their government. We’re there. In the military, the last option is to send in the SEALs.”

...

Zinke said he wants to restore truth, grace, honor and decency, which he called “our moral compass. It’s always been Judeo-Christian,” he said. With the present administration, “It’s whatever you can get away with. I will never bow to pressure. I will do what’s right,” he said.

...

“We need to focus on the real enemy,” he said, referring to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, whom he called the “anti-Christ.”

After getting called out for the remark, Zinke later said that the “anti-Christ” comment was a joke.

So there you have it, in an election where pundits raved about establishment Republicans “crushing” Tea Party insurgents, it seems that the GOP establishment has simply appropriated the Tea Party’s tarnished brand of paranoid politics and unmistakable extremism.

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