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Right Wing Round-Up - 9/16/14

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 9/16/14

  • Glenn Beck will be speaking at the Values Voter Summit again this year.
  • According to CBN's David Brody, just about every leading GOP presidential hopeful supports legislation "that would ban abortions in America after twenty weeks."
  • This is the actual title of Phyllis Schlafly's latest radio commentary: "Attacks on Religious Freedom Remind Us of Vietnam."
  • Bryan Fischer seems to think that Ray Rice has a good chance of being reinstated by the NFL because his suspension violates the Fifth Amendment's double jeopardy clause.
  • Finally, how is Kirk Cameron going to win the war on Christmas when his film will only be in theaters for two weeks?

Glenn Beck's Gut Tells Him The Vote For Scottish Independence Will Lead To 'Global Destabilization'

Most of Glenn Beck's crazy theories seem to originate somewhere in his gut, beginning with little more than a "feeling" that something is wrong and then migrating to his brain where he attempts to shape it into some quasi-coherent theory with varying degrees of success before eventually expelling it out his mouth.

Watching the process take place is truly something to behold and it happened not once, but twice, during yesterday's morning staff meeting as Beck first sought to explain why President Obama is using the term "ISIL" instead of "ISIS," though he struggled mightly to do so because the theory that he came up with did not fit with his worldview or even make any sense.

Later in the meeting, Beck went through the process again when he issued a dire warning about the upcoming vote on Scottish independence, saying that it would lead to widespread civil war and "global destabilization."

After admitting that something about this independence vote bothers him but he doesn't really know what it is or why, Beck concluded that world leaders like Russian President Vladimir Putin are "licking their chops over this" because it can be used to justify splitting apart Ukraine while setting a precedent for "civil war all over the world," as Beck spun out some convoluted theory about how this vote for independence is "going the opposite direction of where the power is going," whatever that means.

"This is what my gut's been telling me," Beck said. "There's something wrong here. There's something really big ... there's a really huge consequence to this. That's what it is. This leads to global destabilization":

'Call Me Crazy': Glenn Beck Links Fears Of Airborne Ebola To Nigerian Prison Guards

Glenn Beck spent his entire opening monologue on his television program last night essentially scaring the living daylights out of his audience by warning that a global Ebola pandemic may be just around the corner and will be brought into the United States by Nigerian prison guards.

Citing fears that the Ebola virus could mutate into an airborne respiratory virus that could be passed by a cough or a sneeze, Beck then connected that to a "tip" he received from one of his The Blaze readers, who informed him that Texas is facing a shortage of prison guards and is therefore bringing in workers from Nigeria to fill those positions, which has reportedly been going on for years.

"There is this weird twist that nobody seems to be talking [about]," Beck said. "The only thing we know about Nigeria is that ... Ebola is breaking out! So we're hiring people from Nigeria who are going back and forth to their country. Does that really seem like a good policy, for a number of reasons? And again, what pops out is Ebola!"

"Call me crazy," he concluded, "but letting Nigerians roam freely in and out of our country as they work as correctional officers in prisons, also in transportation and food service, might seem like something we should look into":

Fischer: The Sale Of Bacon Proves That America Is A Christian Nation

On his radio show yesterday, Bryan Fischer brought up a three year-old incident in which an employee at a Halal-friendly KFC in Australia was suspended for abusing a customer who asked for bacon as concrete proof that America is a Christian nation.

"You want one single item of proof that America is a Christian nation and not a Jewish nation and not an Islamic nation?" he asked. "One single bit of proof is all you need: we freely allow restaurants and grocery stores to sell and to serve bacon. That can only happen in a Christian country."

"So the sheer fact that we freely allow the sale and consumption of bacon," he continued, "is absolute proof that we are, in fact, a Christian nation":

Right Wing Round-Up - 9/15/14

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 9/15/14

  • Jim Garlow has organized something called "The Jefferson Gathering" on Capitol Hill, in which Religious Right activists like Jonathan Cahn are brought in to speak to members of Congress and lead them in prayer.
  • Watching Glenn Beck struggle to come up with a coherent conspiracy theory to explain why President Obama uses the term "ISIL" rather than "ISIS" is rather entertaining.
  • Lee Duigon explains that liberals are unhappy because "Satan is unhappy": "When the devil is angry and unhappy, his servants are angry and unhappy."
  • Bryan Fischer is worried that Adrian Peterson's indictment on charges of child abuse will give corporal punishment a bad name, which shouldn't happen because its use is commanded by God.
  • Finally, "Coach" Dave Daubenmire is no conspiracy theorist, but contrails are nefarious and "something is being sprayed on us!"

Dobson: Gay Marriage Could Cause 'The Entire Superstructure Of Culture' To Collapse

James Dobson recently sat down with Billy Hallowell, the Faith and culture editor at Glenn Beck's "The Blaze" website, to discuss Dobson's most recent book, "Your Legacy: The Greatest Gift."

During the discussion, Hallowell asked Dobson about the role that Christianity should play in society today, to which Dobson responded by warning that if the definition of marriage is changed, it will spell doom for our entire society.

"When you start to weaken" the institution of marriage and the family, Dobson warned, "it influences the entire culture and, in fact, the entire superstructure of culture can come crashing down. That's happened in Rome, it happened in Greece, it's happened throughout history and I don't think that America can survive in the form we have known ... if we allow the family to disintegrate. And that is, in fact, what's happening"

The Benham Brothers Are Ready To Put On Their Wedding Gown And Combat Boots To Defeat Satan

David and Jason Benham, two Religious Right activists who became right-wing celebrities after HGTV canceled their planned reality show due to their anti-choice, anti-gay activism, were among the speakers at last night's "Star Spangled Sunday" event, where they urged Christians to be a bold and heroic in standing up for Christianity just as they had been.

As Jason explained, HGTV may have canceled their show but "they did not take our freedom because we've been set free by the blood of Jesus Christ ... And we're encouraging everybody else to take a stand just like that."

David then declared that the church is just like the flag that flew over Fort McHenry during the British bombardment, before turning it into a strange analogy about MMA fighting by proclaiming that "when Satan steps into the octagon and he's got rockets in one hand and bombs in another with Hamas, and ISIS, and this agenda to silence our freedoms in America, it is the Bride of Christ that steps in with our wedding gown on and combat boots on and a sword in our right hand and we will win in Jesus name":

E.W. Jackson: Those Who Are 'Against God' Are Intensifying Attacks Because They Know 'We Cannot Be Defeated'

E.W. Jackson, the failed GOP nominee for lieutenant governor in Virginia, was among the speakers at last night's "Star Spangled Sunday" event, where he declared that "the forces ... against God" are ramping up their attacks on Christians in America because they know that "we cannot be defeated."

Jackson called on Christians to be bold and take a stand, knowing that "we cannot lose because the God we serve is on the throne and if God be for us, who can be against us?" He said that just as the British continued to attack Fort McHenry so long as the America flag flew, so too will the enemies of God continue to attack Christians.

"You don't attack a defeated foe," he said. "You don't kill a dead enemy ... The attacks are becoming more intense because the forces against us and against God know that we are not about to back down or back up, that we are rising up together as never before and so they are trying to come against us. They just don't understand that we cannot be defeated because our faith and hope is in God":

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