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'And So It Begins': 90-Year-Old Glenn Beck Delivers Dire Message From The Future

The best thing about Glenn Beck owning his own network is that he answers to nobody and so there is nothing to stop him from indulging every insane idea that he has, resulting in hour-long programs like last night's end-of-the-year recap in which a 90-year-old Glenn Beck recorded a dire message from the future about how 2014 was the year in which the whole world fell apart.

Living alone in an abandoned building with only a few tiny candles and a small fire for light and heat, future Beck somehow managed to scrounge up some batteries and video cameras with which to record his message. And even though the world in 2054 is apparently short on food and fuel and energy and everything else, future Beck still somehow managed to obtain stockpiles of footage from news programs that aired forty years earlier and even had the capacity to edit those clips into his dire message about how everything from Ebola, to ISIS, to the Federal Reserve all brought about the complete collapse of capitalism and society starting in 2014.

Beck specifically pointed to the standoff at Cliven Bundy’s ranch as a turning point in U.S. history, insisting that God told him at the time: "And so it begins."

There truly is no way to completely capture the ridiculousness of Beck's broadcast last night which, after the novelty wore off, ended up being just mind-numbingly dull, but this three minute clip of Beck explaining that 2014 was the year that "we all went dead inside" gives you a sense of what it was like.

"I'm not crazy," he explained. "I was naive, but I was not crazy":

Right Wing Round-Up - 12/18/14

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 12/18/14

  • Perhaps declaring that "Jesus is the reason for the season" is not the best thing to say at a menorah-lighting ceremony?
  • Phyllis Schlafly continues to warn that Ebola will cross into America over the southern border.
  • FRC continues to pray against gay marriage: "Lord, the war on marriage is a war against God and man, for you said, 'God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.' Help us prevail in defending the cornerstone of all human relationships - the very image of God displayed brilliantly through the sacred union of a man and woman!"
  • Similarly, ALIPAC is praying against immigration reform by "calling on Americans to unite in prayer together to ask God for strength and protection against the corrupt and deceitful politicians that are destroying America."
  • Glenn Beck has named Hobby Lobby's Steve Green as his "man of the year."
  • Finally, tonight is Glenn Beck's end of the year special, in which Beck reports from the future that 2014 was the year in which everything was lost:

How Glenn Beck 'Accurately' Predicts The Future

Despite his terrible track record, Glenn Beck is genuinely convinced that his wild predictions about the future always come true because, as he said just yesterday, he can see the future.

One of the reasons that Beck is able to delude himself and his audience into believing this myth is because he routinely hedges his bets by insisting that he is "terrible at timing," which makes all of his predictions opened-ended, meaning that they can never be proven wrong since it is always possible that they simply haven't come true yet.

But the main way in which Beck is able to so "accurately" predict the future is that he constantly spews countless theories on his shows, so that whenever anything happens anywhere in the world that could in any way be spun as a confirmation of something he once predicted, he seizes upon it and takes a victory lap.

On his radio show today, Beck hauled out his trusty chalkboard upon which he wrote down his thoughts about President Obama, Russia, and the North Korea/Sony hacking incident in order lay out at least 20 absurdly vague predictions about looming global chaos and conflict:

  • Chaos in Russia
  • Russian expansion into the Ukraine and beyond
  • War with the West
  • War in the Middle East
  • War involving Syria and Iran and possibly North Korea
  • Chaos in Europe
  • Muslim extremists in Europe
  • Nazis/Communists/Anarchists in Europe
  • A caliphate in the Middle East
  • Terrorist attacks in Pakistan
  • Terrorist attacks spreading into India
  • Terrorism in Australia
  • Terrorism spreading into Asia
  • Communists in South America
  • Hyper-inflation
  • Border conflicts
  • Chaos in the United States
  • Race riots in the United States
  • Political chaos
  • Banking chaos
  • The rise of a police state

"It's what's coming," Beck warned.

Now that Beck has covered all of his bases, pretty much no matter what happens anywhere in the world in the future, he will be able to claim that he predicted it:

Bobby Jindal's Clueless Defense Of His AFA Prayer Rally

The controversy surrounding Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal’s prayer rally, which is scheduled to take place next month on LSU’s campus, continues to grow as some students have announced that they will protest the involvement of the rally’s chief funder, the American Family Association, an anti-gay hate group. A wide variety of anti-gay activists are promoting the prayer rally and have used promotional materials for the event to spread outrageous claims that natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina were the result of homosexuality and abortion.

Jindal has now been forced to personally address the issue, which he has predictably done by side-stepping criticism of the AFA's bigotry and instead accusing "the left" of attacking Christians:

"Let's be clear about what this is. This is an opportunity for people across denominational lines to come together to pray," Jindal said. "It's not a political event, it's a religious event."

He said that while he respects the rights of protesters, religious groups have the right to express their beliefs and should not be barred from being able to hold the event on the LSU campus. A protest is planned while the event is taking place at the campus's Pete Maravich Assembly Center, and critics are urging LSU not to allow the prayer rally to happen.

"Christians have the right to rent, to pay for a hall at a public university so they can come together and pray," Jindal told reporters at an economic development announcement in New Orleans.

Asked if he agreed with the American Family Association's agenda, Jindal sidestepped that question and said, "The left likes to try to divide and attack Christians."

Jindal said the protesters themselves should consider joining the prayer rally. He said they "might benefit from prayer."

Given that Jindal apparently has no qualms about partnering with the AFA for a "religious event," we feel that someone ought to ask him what he thinks of the fact that one the AFA's main spokesman, Bryan Fischer, has argued time and time again that the protections guaranteed by the First Amendment only apply to Christians.

Since Fischer has made no secret of his belief that non-Christian faiths are not entitled to any protection under the First Amendment whatsoever, one has to wonder how Jindal feels about partnering with his organization, considering that Jindal's own parents "are actively Hindu."

Not only does Fischer believe that Jindal's parents are not entitled to have their faith protected and treated equally under the Constitution, he declared just last year that Hinduism is a demonic religion when he totally freaked out because First Lady Michelle Obama hosted a Hindu event in the White House:

"This is a counterfeit religion," Fischer said. "It is an Eastern religion. It is, in essence, an occult religion.  It's a counterfeit, a false alternative to Christianity.  It ultimately represents the doctrine of demons, that is what you have with Hinduism and now this is being celebrated in the White House."

"Christians have the right to rent, to pay for a hall at a public university so they can come together and pray," Jindal says as he partners with an organization that regularly asserts that other religions do not have those very same rights.

It is truly amazing that Jindal dares to suggest that somehow Christians are being treated unfairly because people are criticizing the fact that he is quite willing to partner with an organization that openly declares that non-Christians are not entitled to equal treatment or protection under the First Amendment.

The Perfect Right Wing Christmas Card

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" quite like a card portraying an armed Santa Claus holding off a knife-wielding Islamic terrorist who is trying to kill baby Jesus:

An armed Santa Claus on an original Christmas card sent to recipients this year by John M. Snyder protects Baby Jesus from a masked, knife-wielding terrorist.

Santa aims a semiautomatic handgun at the terrorist near Baby Jesus in His crib. The contemporary drawing shows Santa Claus using the gun to save the Infant from the throat-cutter.

"The Christmas card reflects current reality," Snyder said. "According to numerous news reports, Islamist terrorists behead innocent victims around the world, even here in the United States. These murderers persecute Christians, especially Catholics, who worship Jesus Christ as the Son of God, the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity.

"At Christmas, we commemorate the coming of Jesus Christ as true God and true Man, the Divine Person who assumed our human nature through his mother Mary."

Snyder added that, "Santa Claus for many represents the Christmas spirit, the spirit of giving. On this message, Santa uses force of arms to rescue Baby Jesus from a terrorist, to give the Infant protection and freedom from the terrorist. Governments and other entities worthy of respect appreciate the right and ability of individuals to use firearms to protect the innocent."

Right Wing Round-Up - 12/17/14

  • PFAW: Edit Memo: 2014 – A Year of Striking Success on Judicial Nominations.
  • Scott Kaufman @ Raw Story: GOP lawmaker: Women need man’s permission for abortion unless they can prove ‘legitimate rape.’
  • Rachel Ford @ Friendly Atheist: Torture is Okay, Because God Sanctioned Brutality in the Bible, Says Bryan Fischer.
  • Daniel Strauss @ TPM: Lawsuit: GOP Rep. Who Registered Blow-Me.org Had 'Wet Dreams' About Staffer.

  • Timothy Johnson @ Media Matters: NRA News Guest: Newtown Families Were "Extremely Irresponsible" To Sue NRA Corporate Donor That Made The Gun Used To Kill Their Family Members.

  • Charlie Joughin @ HRC Blog: Hypocrisy in Tallahassee: Twice-Divorced Pam Bondi Fights to Keep Same-Sex Couples from Marrying.

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 12/17/14

  • NOM is trying to raise money off the fact that David Koch, who donates tens of millions of dollars to support conservative candidates, personally supports gay marriage.
  • Erica Wanis, a graduate of Patrick Henry College, says that "if indeed American college campuses are experiencing an epidemic of rape, then women must be willing to consider how their attitudes and behavior might be contributing to the problem."
  • There seems to be a backlash brewing on the LSU campus over the fact that it will be the site of Gov. Bobby Jindal's upcoming prayer rally with a bunch of anti-gay activists.
  • Bob Vander Plaats says Jeb Bush’s immigration reform support will be a "significant hurdle" for him to overcome "in a day where Ebola and ISIS have become household terms."
  • Obviously, the deadly hostage situation in Australia is a lot like "another hostage situation much closer to home": "America’s fundamental laws – the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and the Bill of Rights – have been taken hostage by elected officials who desire to govern by their own self-proclaimed private ideologies, or by the agenda of special interest groups they are trying to please."
  • Finally, Glenn Beck loves his wife and his daughters, so clearly conservatives don't hate women.

People Like Glenn Beck Are The True Victims Of Discrimination Today, Says Glenn Beck

Incensed by a new interview in which Barack and Michelle Obama discuss having faced instances of racism and a call by Samuel L. Jackson for his fellow celebrities speak out against police violence, Glenn Beck fumed on his radio program this morning that it is religious conservatives such as himself who are the true victims of oppression in America today.

"You want to talk about racism? You want to talk about bigotry?" Beck said. "Let me ask you: have you tried being me? Have you tried being a conservative? Have you tried being a Tea Party member?"

Claiming that conservatives in Hollywood have to meet in secret and conceal their views for fear of being blackballed by the liberal establishment, Beck declared that it is people like him who are the real victims of discrimination.

"I can't change what I believe," he bellowed. "I believe in God the Almighty. I believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. There's nothing I can do to change that. Sometimes, believe me, I don't want to believe that; it's not fun all the time, it's not easy all the time, it doesn't make you popular all the time. I can't change it. It is who I am to the very fiber of my being. That's who I am. Do you think that I want to be a pariah?"

"Don't tell me about your problems, Samuel L. Jackson," Beck concluded. "Shut the hell up":

Hagee Ministries Creating A 'Sanctuary Of Hope' To Train Up God's Army And Take Back America

On yesterday's "Hagee Hotline," Matthew Hagee announced the creation of something called "The Sanctuary of Hope," which John Hagee Ministries intends to build as a home/school for orphans, those in foster care, and children of parents who want to ensure they get a godly education and through which Hagee and his father intends to transform America.

"Right now, the battle lines in this country are for the young people," he explained. "The one thing that's missing in American education right now? The Word of God. The one thing that's missing in our decisions in government, in many cases? The Word of God. And whenever you do not have the foundation of your society, which is the Word of God, in the decisions that you are making, you're going the wrong direction."

The Sanctuary of Hope is being created to correct this problem, Hagee then explained in a video promoting the project.

"How do we take America back? One leader at a time. That school is going to train leaders that are going to make godly decisions. How are we going to take this country back? One generation at a time and the Sanctuary of Hope is going to be the training ground for the soldiers in the army of the living God that are going to do great things for his kingdom":

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