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Fischer: Release Of Torture Report Shows That Democrats Are 'Juvenile Delinquents'

The AFA's Bryan Fischer was predictably outraged by the release of the Senate report on the CIA's use of torture ... not by the torture itself, mind you, but rather by the release of the report detailing it, fuming on his radio program yesterday that the Democrats only released the report to be "petty" and "juvenile."

"They just got voted out of office," he said. "This was their last chance to poke a finger in the eye of President Bush. I mean, they're like juvenile delinquents; they've been occupying this house, sitting in this house, they've just been evicted from the house, they're going to have to vacate the house on January 1. They're going to have to get out of there January 1 and so they're like juvenile delinquents that decide we're going to trash this place on the way out the door. We don't like the fact that we're going to have to vacate the premises January 1 so we are going to do as much damage on the way out the door as we possibly can":

Right Wing Round-Up - 12/9/14

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 12/9/14

  • Rep. Louie Gohmert invited ultraconservative pastor Robert Jeffress to deliver the opening prayer in the House of Representatives today.
  • End Times broadcaster Jan Markell warns that now that the elections are over, "the White House is going to unleash unholy hell on the nation of Israel."
  • Obviously, the key lesson to be taken away from the Eric Garner tragedy is that "the tax hungry state is out of control, using police power to crack down on petty black market sales, to enforce the obscene taxation that created the black market in the first place."
  • Peter LaBarbera is scandalized: "When it comes to promiscuity and perversion, homosexual men are in a league by themselves."
  • Finally, Janet Porter says that the American Atheists' "skip church" billboards are proof that God exists because "nobody takes out billboards to attack fairy tales."

Beck: 'Family Guy' Basically Re-crucified Jesus Christ

Glenn Beck is very upset about the most recent episode of "Family Guy," which featured a plot portraying Jesus Christ, as The Blaze puts it, "as a lying, sex-crazed adulterer."

After fuming that "it is not brave" for people to mock Christianity, Beck took a moment to attack "Saturday Night Live" as "the biggest group of pussies on the planet" for supposedly refusing to adequately mock President Obama, before he got back to venting his displeasure over this particular "Family Guy" episode.

"Every great, truly great, freeing act was inspired by the teachings of Jesus Christ," Beck declared. "Why would we take down just that man? Why would we make him into a joke? Out of all of the people you can joke about, all of the things you could do and did we sit here as a nation and laugh as he was mocked. Why not just put him up at the pillar again? Why not just whip him and beat him? Why not just publicly humiliate him? Why not just tear his clothing from him, spit on him, and when he asks for water, we give him vinegar?"

"Father, forgive them," Beck concluded, "they know not what they do":

Perkins: We'll Win The Fight Against Gay Marriage Because 'We're On The Side Of The One Who Wrote History"

Last week, the Family Research Council's Tony Perkins appeared on the "Point Of View" radio program to discuss his participation in the marriage conference hosted by the Vatican in November, saying that the event has convinced him that the Religious Right will win the fight against gay marriage in America because "we're on the side of the one who wrote history."

After predicting that President Obama "more than any president in the history of this country, will be recorded in history as undermining the culture and the fabric and foundation of this country," Perkins likened the Vatican event to receiving a motivational pep talk during halftime at a football game, declaring that anti-gay activists are now "ready to go back out on the field and win the game."

"This was a moment to step back and get it into perspective of world history, human history, and say 'you know what? We are on the winning side,'" Perkins said. "This idea that we're on the wrong side of history; no, we're on the side of the one who wrote history and we will prevail in this":

Rep. John Fleming Looking To Expand Protections For Anti-Gay Discrimination In The Military

Louisiana Republican congressman John Fleming apparently feels right at home among radical Religious Right activists, judging by his willingness to appear regularly on their radio programs and at their events. To date, he has appeared on radio programs hosted by David Barton, Tony Perkins, Janet Mefferd, and even End Times fanatic Rick Wiles.

To that impressive list we can now also add Gordon Klingenschmitt, who recently interviewed Fleming on his "Pray In Jesus Name" program, mostly about his efforts to add language to the National Defense Authorization Act that essentially seeks to give military service members the right to engage in anti-gay discrimination under the guise of protecting religious liberty.

After failing to get his preferred language adopted last time around, Fleming told Klingenschmitt that he is hopeful that his efforts to guarantee such protections will succeed now that Republicans have gained control of both the House and the Senate.

Warning that liberal activists are seeking to "expand secularism, humanism, atheism to limit your First Amendment right of speech not only in the military but elsewhere," Fleming said that conservative Christians must remain vigilant and work to expand protections for their religious liberty.

"With the next NDAA, we hope to strengthen our language even more," he said, "because we'll have both a Senate and a House Republican majority. So we'd really like to expand upon the language we already have in the NDAA that protects First Amendment speech and also protects atheist chaplains":

Right Wing Round-Up - 12/8/14

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 12/8/14

  • John Hagee nows says that he didn't mean to call President Obama one of the "most anti-Semitic presidents" in history but merely one of the most "anti-Israel."
  • Hans von Spakovsky says that the Eric Garner grand jury decision would have been "an ideal time" for President Obama "to discuss the deeper cultural, behavioral problems that exist in the black community."
  • Dave Daubenmire wonders "why is Fox News so white?"
  • Just because the story about Disney supposedly censoring God has been debunked, that is not going to stop OneNewsNow from continuing to report on it.
  • Finally, Janet Porter imagines that Jesus must feel very lonely when people celebrate Christmas without wishing him a happy birthday.

Sorry, Glenn Beck: The Apple Logo Is Not A Secret Salute To Alan Turing

Glenn Beck received an advance copy of "The Imitation Game," the new film about Alan Turing's effort to crack the Nazi Enigma code during World War II and his eventual suicide after he was prosecuted for being gay, which was a crime at the time.

On his radio program today, Beck raved about the film, seizing upon the legend that Turing had taken his life by eating an apple laced with cyanide which, Beck claimed, has been secretly immortalized in the logo for Apple, which consists of an apple with a bite taken out of it.

"That's a salute to Alan Turning," Beck said. "Nobody knows that. Nobody knows that ... Isn't that amazing?"

This claim is, of course, little more than an urban legend, as Rob Janoff, the man who originally designed the logo back in 1977, explained a few years ago:

CB: What does the bite in the apple represent? Is it a reference to a computing term byte? Is it a reference to the biblical event when Eve bit into the forbidden fruit? Is the fruit itself referencing the discovery of gravity by Newton when an apple fell on his head while sitting under the tree?

RJ: They are really interesting, but I'm afraid it didn't have a thing to do with it. From a designer's point of view and you probably experienced this, one of the big phenomena is having the experience of designing a logo for whatever reasons you design it, and years later you find out supposedly why you did certain things. And, they are all BS. It's a wonderful urban legend. Somebody starts it and then people go "oh yeah, that must be it".

CB: Is it possible you were influenced subconsciously by these stories?

RJ: Well, I'm probably the least religious person, so Adam and Eve didn't have anything to do with it. The bite of knowledge sounds fabulous, but that's not it. And there is a whole lot of other lore about it. Turing the famous supposed father of computer science who committed suicide in the early 50's was british and was accused of being homosexual, which he was. He was facing a jail sentence so he committed suicide to avoid all that. So, I heard one of the legends being that the colored logo was an homage to him. People think I did the colored stripes because of the gay flag. And, that was something really thought for a long time. The other really cool part was that apparently he killed himself with a cyanide laced apple. And, then I found out Alan Turing's favorite childhood story was Snow White where she falls asleep forever afrer eating a poisoned apple to be woken up by the handsome prince. Anyway, when I explain the real reason why I did the bite it's kind of a let down. But I'll tell you. I designed it with a bite for scale, so people get that it was an apple not a cherry. Also it was kind of iconic about taking a bite out of an apple. Something that everyone can experience. It goes across cultures. If anybody ever had an apple he has probably bitten into it and that's what you get. It was after I designed it that my creative director told me: "Well you know, there is a computer term called byte". And I was like: "You're kidding!" So, it was like perfect, but it was coincidental that it was also a computer term. At the time I had to be told everything about basic computer terms.

Klingenschmitt: Gay Couple Wanting To Marry Is 'In A Hurry To Run Into Hell'

Earlier this year, a federal district court judge struck down Texas' ban on gay marriage but stayed his own ruling until the case could be heard by the appellate court. Last month, a lesbian couple asked the judge to lift his stay so that they could get married since one of the women is pregnant with the couple's child, arguing that, were something to happen to her, the other woman would not be able to claim legal parenthood. Attorney General Greg Abbott opposed the effort to lift the stay, saying there is no harm is forcing the couple to wait until the appellate court hears the case early next year.

On his "Pray In Jesus Name" program today, Gordon Klingenschmitt, a newly-elected Republican member of the Colorado legislature, discussed this case and wondered why these women were in such a hurry to condemn themselves to Hell.

"Isn't it a tragedy when you can't have homosexual sin right away?" he asked, mockingly. "That's what they're alleging and, of course, it's ridiculous. In God's government, that sin ought to be delayed indefinitely. And, in fact, if they remained abstinent until death, maybe they wouldn't be punished for the sin that they're trying to expedite."

With a sigh, Kilngenschmitt then lamented that "some people are in a hurry to run into Hell":

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