Bryan Fischer

Paranoia-Rama: War On Christmas Hoax, Obama's Gay Revenge & The Plot To Nuke Charleston

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

Apparently, we here at Right Wing Watch are receiving secret information on the American public courtesy of the NSA. This week we learned top-secret details about the War on Christmas, along with the Obama administration’s false flag attacks and plan to nuke South Carolina. It’s all here in this week’s Paranoia-Rama:

5. Student Suspended For Saying ‘Merry Christmas’?

The National Report strikes again! An article from the satirical site about a San Francisco school suspending a nine-year-old student for wishing a “Merry Christmas” to an atheist teacher went viral this week, enraging War on Christmas belligerents. A real school with a similar name to the fictional school mnamed in the National Report’s spoof has been inundated with nasty calls and violent threats from angry people across the country who didn’t realize the article was a hoax.

Judging by the source, we wouldn’t be surprised if the story eventually gets a mention on Fox & Friends.

4. Indian Diplomat’s Arrest A Gay Plot

Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association believes that last week’s controversial arrest of an Indian diplomat in New York occurred not because of the diplomat’s alleged mistreatment of her housekeeper but as “payback” for an Indian supreme court decision recriminalizing homosexuality. “I think there is one simple reason: This is payback by President Obama because a week ago the supreme court in the country of India reinstated a law that bans homosexual sex, it criminalizes homosexual conduct,” Fischer said.

Legal disputes between the diplomat and her former maid have been going on for months and Secretary of State John Kerry expressed regret over the incident, but since Fischer is absolutely obsessed with gay issues it’s not like he needs any evidence to substantiate his case.

3. Obama Will Use NSA To Leak Information To Liberal Groups

Larry Klayman, the conservative attorney who successfully challenged the NSA’s domestic surveillance programs, seems convinced that President Obama will leak information collected by the NSA to progressive organizations, including us (even though our parent organization, People For the American Way, is part of a separate legal challenge to the NSA).

Klayman believes this is part of a plan “to destroy conservatives, libertarians, people of faith and anyone else who believes in true freedom” that will concentrate power in the hands of Obama’s “wildly ultra-leftist, atheist, anti-Judeo-Christian, anti-white and Muslim benefactors, supporters and friends.”

2. About That Guy Who Stopped Obama From Nuking Charleston…

As we’ve been reporting, conservative activist Jim Garrow is insistent that three military officials dealing with nuclear arms were fired because they stopped President Obama’s plan to nuke Charleston, South Carolina. Yesterday, the Washington Post ran a report on the actual reasons the one of the generals responsible for nuclear weapons was fired, including his excessive drinking and misbehavior.

Not that any of Garrow’s followers know or care, as we expect Garrow — who recently predicted the emergence of an anti-Obama “guerrilla war” — to continue to claim that the general was a great hero who saved America from a malicious Obama-Soros scheme.

1. Obama’s ‘False Flag’ Actress?

Leave it to Erik Rush to promote a bizarre blog post from a fringe right-wing website about how young women photographed crying at the scenes of the Aurora and Sandy Hook shootings and the Boston Marathon Bombing look similar, and therefore must be the same woman and an actress paid by President Obama.

The website, Moral Matters, says that the photos are proof that Obama is staging the violent events in order to distract from his “criminal scandals and his criminal ID fraud,” bolster gun control efforts and gut the Second Amendment. We wonder if Erik Rush will discuss this conspiracy theory the next time Fox News invites him on air.

Fischer: 'What We Need Is About A Hundred And Fifty Million Phil Robertsons'

It is no surprise that professional anti-gay bigot Bryan Fischer has come out in support of "Duck Dynasty's" Phil Robertson, defending the anti-gay comments that got Robertson suspended from the show.

In fact, on his broadcast yesterday, Fischer called upon conservative Christians all over the nation to follow Robertson's example and speak "biblical truth about sexuality and marriage" in "every circumstance, every situation, every conversation."

Saying that the entire controversy is rooted in the "spiritual warfare" that Satan is waging on humanity over the issue of homosexuality, Fischer declared that the only way to fight back is to "continue to speak the truth," which is why everyone ought to emulate Robertson every chance they get.

"What we need is about a hundred and fifty million Phil Robertsons out there," he said:

Fischer: Arrest Of Indian Diplomat Is 'Payback' For Recent Anti-Gay Ruling

On his radio broadcast yesterday, Bryan Fischer discussed the case Indian diplomat who was arrested last week on charges of visa fraud and underpaying her nanny, which Fischer is not buying at all since he knows that this diplomat was really arrested because President Obama is trying to pay India back for the recent Supreme Court ruling outlawing gay sex.

Fischer, a vocal supporter of the Indian law, said the arrest of the diplomat was nothing more than "payback" to the nation of India for the ruling.

"I mean, could you be any more obvious about retaliation or payback," Fischer said, before going on to blast Obama for naming openly gay athletes as part of the official presidential delegation to the Winter Olympics, saying it was an intentional "thumb in the eye" to Russia.

"It's just insulting":

Right Wing Leftovers - 12/16/13

Mike Huckabee is reportedly going to let God decide if he should run for president. How much do you want to bet the God tells him to run? Obviously, the cause of all these school shootings is lack of proper faith in God:

Bryan Fischer Is Just Trying To Save Our Souls

Bryan Fischer continued his reading from the Book of Revelation on his radio program today and when he came to a passage warning that those who "worship the beast" will spend eternity in torment, he took a moment to kindly address us and our readers directly, pleading with us to accept Christ in order to avoid this punishment.

Fischer: 'I Am The Truth Detector'

The Bible says that Satan's only tool is the lie, but fortunately God has put Bryan Fischer on earth to serve as a beacon of truth: "I am the truth detector. I am the truth promoter."

Fischer Hails India Supreme Court Ruling Outlawing Gay Sex: 'This Is Entirely Right And Entirely Appropriate'

Yesterday, the Supreme Court of India reinstated a law dating back to the 1860s which mandates that anyone who "voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal" be punished by up to 10 years in prison.

This decision outlawing consensual homosexual sex was predictably hailed by Bryan Fischer who rejoiced that the ruling demonstrates that making homosexuality illegal "can be done."

"This is entirely right and entirely appropriate," Fischer said of the law. "Same-sex behavior is unnatural, it is against the order of nature: you just look at the plumbing and you can tell that, what body parts are designed for what use and you can see right away that this is contrary to nature."

"So that shows," he continued, speaking of the court ruling,"ladies and gentlemen that it can be done. It shows that this cultural trend that we're dealing with can be reversed, because for four years it was open season for homosexuals in India and now that drift away from cultural norms and moral norms, that's been reversed in the country of India ... Good law in India upheld by the Supreme Court":

Fischer: 'Our Constitution Protects The Free Exercise Of The Christian Religion'

On his radio broadcast yesterday, Bryan Fischer spent two segments laying out his argument that, when the founders of this nation used the word "religion," what they really meant was "Christianity." As such, authorities in Oklahoma have every right to reject an effort by Satanists to erect a monument outside the Oklahoma Capitol building.

Fischer: Colorado Bakery Owners Have Become Victims Of 'The Secular Inquisition'

Last week, a Colorado judge ruled that the owners of a bakery who were refusing to serve gay customers must do so or face fines. The owner is vowing to resist the ruling and Bryan Fischer voiced his support on his radio broadcast today, saying that the baker has become a victim of  "The Secular Inquisition."

"Our secular theocrats have found this man guilty of heresy," Fischer said, "guilty of idolatry, guilty of blasphemy because he will not agree to the dogma of the secular theocrats. He is a heretic and he must be punished just like the Spanish Inquisition did for those that went astray from the dogma of the church in their day."

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Right Wing Leftovers - 12/9/13

  • E.W. Jackson will do what every failed Republican candidate does: launch a political action committee.
  • Richard Viguerie went to Israel and found some government minister who doesn't trust President Obama and apparently that is news or something.
  • The Sen. Ted Cruz coloring book is finally here!
  • Nice timing, Rep. Ted Yoho.
  • Finally, Bryan Fischer says that Ted Cruz's praise for Nelson Mandela has "raised more questions about Ted Cruz then probably anything he's done."

Fischer: Pot Should Be Illegal Because Its Use Violates Biblical Teaching

On his radio broadcast today, Bryan Fischer spent the better part of one segment railing against the dangers of marijuana and saying that it should never be legalized because it's use violates the teachings of the Bible.

Citing Paul's admonition in Ephesians 5:18 that believers should "not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit," Fisher said marijuana should be illegal because people "are not to be under control of anything except for the Holy Spirit."

This would, of course, also apply to alcohol, which Fischer presumably thinks ought to be illegal as well ... as should hypnosis, apparently, which Fischer also warned against.

"I'm primarily opposed to marijuana use," Fischer said, "just for the same reason I'm opposed to drunkenness, same reason I'm opposed to cocaine use and heroin use: it's turning control of your humanity over to something other than God."

Fischer: Obama Should Be Impeached ... Just For Educational Purposes

On his radio broadcast today, Bryan Fischer agreed with a caller who demanded that Republicans in the House of Representatives "take a stand" and impeach President Obama even if he won't be convicted and removed by the Senate.

Fischer readily agreed, saying that even though there is no chance that Obama would actually be removed from office, House Republicans ought to go ahead and impeach him any way ... for educational purposes.

"There could be a powerful educational benefit from the House filing articles of impeachment," Fischer said, because "it would give the House the opportunity to make their case why this man needs to be removed from office ... And so they're be tremendous educational value in that; it may not go anywhere in the Senate ... but it may be time to recognize there's an educational benefit here":

Fischer: Obamacare Is A 'Disaster Of Historic Proportions' Representing The 'Death Throes Of Socialism'

We already know that Bryan Fischer has a pretty active political imagination, dreaming up scenarios in which Democrats might decide to impeach President Obama in order to win re-election in 2014.

On his program yesterday, Fischer returned to fantasy land in order to declare Obamacare is such a monumental disaster that, a hundred years from now, people will study this time in American history as the moment when socialism finally died.

"Obamacare is catastrophic, it is cataclysmic," Fischer said. "I've said this before, I'll say it again: it is not fixable, this thing is an utter, absolute, complete disaster of historic proportions. Ladies and gentlemen, you are living through American history. I want you to understand the significance of this. You are a living witness of American history. You are living through something that people will be writing about a hundred years from now and that is the time period in American history when socialism exploded, when it imploded, when it became evident to every thinking American that socialism does not work, it cannot work, it is impossible to work, nobody can make it work. We are witnessing the death throes of socialism and you are witnessing that":

We hope this is true, primarily because we are just getting tired of hearing the Right reflexively declare that everything they don't like is "socialism."

Of course, Fischer does not have a very good track record of making predictions, so we won't hold our breath.

Fischer: Muslim Prayer Rooms On Christian Campuses Are 'Idolatrous Temples'

On his radio program today, Bryan Fischer discussed a report that a few Christian colleges in the United States had built Muslim prayer rooms on campus.  Fischer was, of course, predictably disturbed by the fact that these colleges were willingly building "idolatrous temples" through which people could worship "a counterfeit god."

"These are basically idolatrous temples," Fischer said. "You set up a prayer room for Muslims, they are praying to a counterfeit god, they are praying to a false god. It's no different in the days of Judah and Israel when they set up temples to Baal and altars to Baal, it is exactly the same thing and we know exactly what God thought about all that":

Fischer: 'The Next Domino To Fall Is Going To Be Pedophilia'

On his radio program today, Bryan Fischer pointed to a recent ABC News report entitled "Polyamory: The End of Marriage?" to proclaim that, just as anti-gay activists predicted, the world was heading toward legalizing polygamy and inevitably pedophilia.

ABC has been running these sorts of sensational stories for years,  but Fischer seized upon this recent piece as proof that once marriage is no longer confined to one man and one woman, then "there's no logical place to stop in the kinds of sexual relationships that you will support, you will endorse, you will embrace as a culture."

When anti-gay activists warned that gay marriage would lead to polygamy, Fischer said that everybody laughed at them, but now they have been proven right!

"We were exactly right," Fischer said, "when we said polygamy was the next domino to fall. And after this, the next domino to fall is going to be pedophilia. They're saying the same things to us now, you're exaggerating, but we were right and we'll be proven right":

Fischer: The Constitution Give States The Right To Outlaw Islam

Inspired by reports that the African nation of Angola had outlawed the religion of Islam and begun dismantling mosques, Bryan Fischer called for similar steps to be taken in America.

Though the claims turned out to be false, Fischer said on his radio program yesterday that under the Constitution as it was originally written, individual states have the freedom and power to declare Islam to be illegal and prohibit Muslims from practicing it or building mosques.

"Angola has made Islam illegal in the country," Fischer said, "and they are dismantling mosques. Mosques are illegal and they are dismantling the mosques that already exist; they're taking them down ... And you ask yourself the question, well, can we do that here? Could we do that in the United States? Could we make Islam illegal, could we prohibit the building of mosques, and the answer is yes!"

Right Wing Leftovers - 11/25/13

  • Rick Santorum's first outing as a Christian movie mogul is not off to a good start.
  • WND and FRC continue to claim that the Southern Poverty Law Center has been "linked to domestic terrorism."
  • A few weeks ago, Glenn Beck called Sen. John Cornyn a "piece of crap," but was exceedingly deferential when Cornyn appeared on his radio show today.
  • AFA is now boycotting Radio Shack.
  • Mark Krikorian says the Catholic church is for immigration reform because it’s trying to replace depleting population of churchgoers.
  • Finally, Bryan Fischer says that everybody in Washington, DC knows that President Obama is actually a Muslim.

Fischer: God Will Curse America For Making A Deal With Iran

Over the weekend, the United States, France, Germany, Britain, China and Russia collectively reached a deal with Iran in which Iran agreed to curb its nuclear program in exchange for a loosening of sanctions against the nation.

Israel is not happy with the agreement, which means that Bryan Fischer is not happy with it either because God will now curse America since it has dishonored the descendants of Abraham.

"The main reason that we ought to stand with Israel," Fischer explained, "is because God does. We, as a Christian nation, ought to stand with Israel because God does."

Citing God's promise to Abraham in the Bible that anyone who honored Abraham would be honored by God while anyone who dishonored Abraham would be cursed by God, Fischer asked "now what did Barack Obama and John Kerry just do to Israel? They just dishonored Israel; they just dishonored the descendents of Abraham ... If we bless Israel, God will bless us. If we dishonor Israel, God will withdraw his blessing from us and replace that with a curse":

Fischer: Obama 'Is A Christophobic Bigot'

As we noted yesterday, the entire Religious Right movement is in the process of freaking out over the fact that President Obama read a version of The Gettysburg Address that did not include the phrase "under God."  The simple fact that Obama was asked to read that specific version by documentary filmmaker Ken Burns does not, according to the Right, in any way absolve him of this grave sin, with Liberty Counsel fuming that "he has certainly failed to acknowledge God and Biblical values throughout his presidency" and Gary Bauer declaring that "God is not amused."

Most furious of all is Bryan Fischer who insists that Obama deliberately read the version that did not include "under God" because he is a "Christophobic bigot."

Obama as "deliberately insulted the faith of 300 million Americans," Fischer said. "There's no way this was not deliberate and intentional. So, to me, this is just more evidence of President Obama's anti-Christian bigotry. He is a Christophobic bigot; he has an intolerance, he has a dislike, he has an animus for Christianity":

Right Wing Leftovers - 11/19/13

  • Bryan Fischer says it is okay for Christians to ask God to punish their enemies.
  • Peter LaBarbera stands by Liz Cheney: "We who have God and truth on our side act like we're somehow wrong. Meanwhile, the forces of evil, those who are fighting for a sin movement act, like they have truth on their side. Shame on us for not behaving like we have truth on our side."
  • According to Erik Rush's website, several high-ranking military officers were removed from their positions in recent weeks for stopping President Obama from detonating three nuclear weapons that would have killed 90% of the US population.
  • How is it possible that racist black nationalist Ayo Kimathi has still not been fired from his government job?
  • Finally, we wish that people who gush about the "private" Glenn Beck would explain how that one is supposedly so amazingly different than the public one and why is should make us see his lunatic rantings in a different light.
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