Jim Bakker

Jim Bakker: Enjoy Ice Cream Sandwiches While Everyone Else Is Dead

Much like his fellow doomsday prophet Glenn Beck, televangelist Jim Bakker regularly dedicates segments of his show to selling survivalist food supplies while warning of the country’s imminent peril. Last week, Bakker discussed the Ebola outbreak and other possible calamities, including a collapse of the electrical grid.

Bakker said that while “90-some percent of all Americans will be dead in less than a year” if such a breakdown occurs, you and your family will be secure if you take advantage of his special “time of trouble” offer to purchase packages containing between 91 and 273 desserts, including ice cream sandwiches, chocolates and pudding.

“Order your food, do it while there’s yet time,” he said in his sendoff message.

Paranoia-Rama: Obama's Alien Mission, Comic Book Communism & How Salsa Is Destroying America

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

Did you know that you can be thrown in jail simply for criticizing President Obama? Or that Obama will soon pretend to speak with aliens as part of a ploy to silence the criticism that he has apparently already criminalized? Learn more in this week’s edition of Paranoia-Rama:

5. Obama’s Alien-Canadian Plot

Since President Obama failed to nuke the U.S. and kill 90 percent of Americans, activist Jim Garrow claims that he is now preparing “the greatest deception that mankind has ever faced”: contact with alien life.

Apparently, attempting to nuke America didn’t help the president become more popular, so Garrow reasons that the president will now try to improve his polling numbers by pretending to be in “communication with people from other civilizations beyond Earth.” Garrow argues that if that doesn’t work, Obama will call in troops from Canada to start repressing and killing civilians… including Garrow himself.

4. Mexican Food Destroying America

The White Nationalists over at VDARE are outraged by the way the Associated Press reported on salsa becoming America’s No. 1 condiment. VDARE linked the stories of salsa overtaking ketchup to the War on Christmas, arguing that the media is trying to undercut America’s cultural identity with “Hispanic Cuisine Hype” and “the Demographic-Change-Is-Inevitable theme.”

Blogger Allan Wall asked, ruefully, if the “historic American nation” is about to be “radically transformed, beyond recognition, without our permission?”

3. Nelson Mandela Comic Book Is Dangerous Communist Brainwashing

Accuracy In Media’s Cliff Kincaid is upset about the release of a new comic book chronicling the life of Nelson Mandela, which Kincaid fears will indoctrinate kids into communism by not calling Mandela a communist.

“If used in schools and libraries, this comic book will deceive ‘students and reluctant readers’ about how communism has come to power in South Africa. What purpose is served by that?” Kincaid asks. “It will enable the same forces to make even more gains around the world, including in the United States, by operating as ‘progressives.’”

He is also upset that people refer to South Africa as a democratic state, as Kincaid believes it is a communist nation committing anti-white genocide.

2. It Is Now Illegal To Criticize Obama!

If it was a crime to criticize President Obama, then almost everyone we monitor here on RightWingWatch would probably be in jail right now. But televangelists Jim Bakker and Rick Joyner now seem to believe that the government has banned criticism of Obama.

“Usually I don’t mention the president anymore, it’s very frightening, because they can take and put you in prison now if you speak out against our leaders,” Bakker said. “I don’t know what happened to America, this is not the America I knew when I was a boy.” Joyner added: “I believe if we don’t speak out we’re all going to be in prison very, very soon.”

Of course, this is the exact same shtick that the far right used to gin up fear and anger during the debate over the 2009 Hate Crimes Prevention Act. Religious Right activists predicted that anti-gay activists and pastors would be thrown into jail as soon as the law was enacted. Of course, they were lying.

1. Benghazi Conspiracy Theory Gets Even More Desperate

As their conspiracy theory surrounding the 2012 Benghazi attack continues to unravel, now right-wing activists and Republicans claim the New York Times is part of a cover-up…of something.

After a Times investigation into the incident debunked the GOP’s messaging about the attack and the administration’s response, Republican congressmen including Mike Rogers, Trey Gowdy and Lynn Westmoreland are now saying that the Times editorial board must have concocted the report in order to help Hillary Clinton’s potential presidential campaign.

Of course, the congressmen have absolutely no evidence to back up any of their allegations, but it’s not like a lack of evidence got in the way of their increasingly desperate and partisan Benghazi witch hunt.

'They Can Take And Put You In Prison Now If You Speak Out Against Our Leaders'

Early last month, Rick Joyner was the guest on Jim Bakker's television program where the two men lamented that America has been lost, declared that President Obama was God's judgment upon this nation, and warned that Christians will wind up in prison in the very near future.

Bakker began by saying that he is now even reluctant to mention President Obama on his program "because they can take and put you in prison now if you speak out against our leaders." He then began to rant that the nation is "following leaders who have come against every tenet of the faith of the word of the living God" and declaring that "America is not America any more," which prompted Joyner to add that following leaders like this "is an ultimate depravity and that is what releases [God's] judgment against a nation and this is what we're experiencing."

"I believe, if we don't speak out, we're all going to be in prison very, very soon," Joyner said. "And it's going to be a worse prison then we could imagine ... If we don't have revival, if we don't have another great awakening, we're going to experience a tyranny and a totalitarian oppression far worse than anything that was experienced in the Twentieth Century":

Joyner Hopes Romney will Fulfill the 'White Horse Prophecy'

Rick Joyner has been optimistic about Mitt Romney’s chances at winning the presidency lately and floated the idea that Romney may even be the fulfillment of the “White Horse Prophecyduring an appearance on Jim Bakker’s show.  After agreeing with Bakker that the differences between Mormonism and Christianity are merely minor ones, Joyner suggested that a prophecy that Mormons would save the U.S. in its darkest hour may be realized in Romney. While Joyner sounded hopeful about that possibility since it would mean Obama’s defeat, the prophecy, which has not been accepted by the LDS Church, goes on to suggest that “Mormons will control the government.”

Watch:

Jacobs Warns Obama's 'Anti-Biblical' Policies have led to 'Floods and Fires and More'

Self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs, who blamed freak bird deaths on the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and predicted that the Obama administration’s support for LGBT rights will lead to a blizzard and the exposure of a major government scandal, warned Jim Bakker last week that more disasters are coming to America thanks to President Obama’s leadership. Jacobs told Bakker that she prophesied “that God had seen decisions made from our White House that were anti-biblical and that we were going to come into the season of the greatest weather patterns and disasters that we had seen, there were going to be floods and fires and more, and it all happened.”

She claimed that 2011 “historically was the worst year for weather-related disasters in our history, and I was mocked everywhere for that because they don’t understand spiritual things.” “We are going to have more weather disasters, it’s going to come up worse and worse, it’s not going to stop,” Jacobs contended.

Watch:

Bakker: 'America is Under Curse' and Ripe for Divine Punishment

During an interview with self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs, televangelist Jim Bakker warned that “America is under curse” and God let his protective hand of protection down to allow the September 11 attacks to occur in order “to get your and my attention.” Bakker tearfully decried legal abortion and limits on organized school prayer and the public placement of religious items like the Ten Commandments, telling viewers that now “God is weeping in Heaven.”

Watch:

Jim Bakker Prophesies New Orleans' Destruction and California 'Ring of Fire'

Last time self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs appeared on The Jim Bakker Show, the two talked about how they prophesied the September 11th attacks, warned of an imminent nuclear catastrophe and how Jacobs prevented two African coups. But when the two got together last week, Bakker did most of the “prophesying” as he recounted how “God spoke to me there’d be death by water and one day New Orleans will be under water forever,” with Hurricanes Katrina and Isaac revealing God’s judgment on the city.

“There’s going to be many, many disasters, desert disasters, sometimes God speaks in alliterations to me,” Bakker said. “In California confusion is going to happen and it’s going to be awful, the earthquakes are shaking, the ring of fire is shaking, there are going to be earthquakes like we’ve never seen before, there’s going to be storms like we’ve never seen before.”

Later, Bakker prophesied that along with California there will be an imminent earthquake on the New Madrid Fault Line over U.S. policy towards Israel and that his audience members will soon “pull people out of the rubble and you’re going to tell them ‘this is in the Bible, this is Biblical times.’”

Watch:

God speaks to Rick Joyner & Jim Bakker through thunder

Rick Joyner was a guest for a series of episodes of "The Jim Bakker Show" last month where they discussed everything from reclaiming the Seven Mountains of influence to the looming End Times and America's relationship with Israel.

The shows were clearly recorded during inclement weather, as thunder could be heard booming several times over the several episodes ... but to Joyner and Bakker, it was not some minor uncontrollable inconvenience but rather proof that God was approving of the things they were saying, such as the need to support Bakker's ministry through donations and the importance of supporting Israel:

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