Todd Starnes

Todd Starnes Is Not Impressed With The 'Moron' Journalists On The Ground In Ferguson

During an appearance on "The Alice Stewart Show" this morning to discuss his belief that the Obama Administration is "orchestrating" a lot of the unrest in Ferguson, Missouri, Todd Starnes blamed the news media for supposedly making the situation on the ground appear a lot worse than it really is.

Radio host Alice Stewart kicked things off by likening the release of the video showing Michael Brown allegedly stealing cigars from a local convenience store before he was killed to Benghazi, saying that the Obama Administration is now trying to blame that video for the violence taking place in Ferguson just as it tried to blame an anti-Islam video for the attack in Libya.

"Now all of a sudden the administration is upset" about the release of the video, Stewart said, "once again blaming a video, like Benghazi, for what is going on in this situation."

For his part, Starnes reserved most of his disdain for the media outlets that are on the scene covering the unrest, accusing them of essentially trying to produce a "reality television show" in which they "act like they are in some sort of a war-torn country - they're in Ferguson, Missouri for crying out loud!"

"One of the things that really irritated me," he continued, is "everybody's attacking the police. The media, they're not even attempting to hide their disdain for law enforcement," which infuriates Starnes since the local authorities are simply trying to protect the journalists from violent protestors.

"Hey MSNBC, the reason that they don't want you standing in the middle of the street is because you're going to get hit by a brick, you moron!"

Given this attitude, it came is no surprise that Starnes was particularly unsympathetic to journalists who have been detained by the police.

"Everybody's getting arrested, Alice," he said, sarcastically. "Everybody's getting arrested. And what really amazes me is that these people are still able to tweet with their hand behind their backs in handcuffs. There's a difference between being detained and being asked to see your credentials and being thrown into jail and having a mugshot taken and your fingerprints. That hasn't happened. That hasn't happened":

Todd Starnes: Obama Administration 'Orchestrated' Ferguson Incident, Made It 'A National Issue'

Only in the world of Fox News commentator Todd Starnes is President Obama responsible for making the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri into a national story.

In an interview with Sandy Rios on American Family Radio today, Starnes said Obama administration officials “are actually orchestrating a lot of this stuff and they turned this local tragedy into a national issue.”

“It appears that the administration is trying to play politics with this,” Starnes said.

Todd Starnes: Obama Helping 'Race Hustlers' In Ferguson

While Bryan Fischer said President Obama didn’t go far enough in condemning police actions in Ferguson, Missouri, Todd Starnes today claimed that Obama helped “professional race hustlers” during his remarks on violence in Ferguson yesterday.

Reacting to the news that Michael Brown, the teenager who was killed, was a suspect in a shoplifting case, Starnes suggested that Brown was a violent criminal.

“The Mainstream Media led us to believe that Michael Brown was a lovable, college-bound teenager who was just minding his own business when he was randomly accosted by the police,” he said. “There was a rush to judgment in this case and the chief offender was our commander in chief. President Obama was all too willing to stand before the cameras and deliver another ‘Cops Acting Stupidly’ speech. I wonder who will deliver the ‘politicians acting stupidly’ speech?”

Of course, it is now being reported that the police officer who fatally shot Brown was not aware that he was a suspect in the convenience store shoplifting.

The narrative in Ferguson Missouri has taken a dramatic turn.

The Mainstream Media led us to believe that Michael Brown was a lovable, college-bound teenager who was just minding his own business when he was randomly accosted by the police.

It was a narrative advanced by professional race hustlers - and quite frankly - to some extent - by the Obama Administration.

The police now tell us Mr. Brown was the suspect in a strong arm robbery.

I doubt that's going to sway the "peaceful protesters."

"I am incensed," Laura Keys, 50, told The St. Louis Post-Dispatch. "I can't believe this is the tactic they are using, bringing up a robbery to make the victim look like he was the person who created this whole mess."

There was a rush to judgment in this case and the chief offender was our commander in chief.

President Obama was all too willing to stand before the cameras and deliver another "Cops Acting Stupidly" speech.

I wonder who will deliver the "politicians acting stupidly" speech?

Right Wing Round-Up - 8/13/14

Pat Robertson: 'Are We Going To Have A Revolution? We Ought To Have Something'

Fox News commentator Todd Starnes appeared on “The 700 Club” today where he went through his usual talking points about how the Obama administration is waging “war” on conservative Christians while giving special treatment to Muslims.

His comments led Robertson to wonder, “Are we going to have a revolution? We ought to have something.”

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 8/7/14

  • Rand Paul first said he fled an encounter with a Dreamer activist because he had to go to an interview, but now he claims it was because he’s “not interested in being filmed and berated by people who broke the law and are here illegally to try and convince me about policy.” 
  • Tea Party groups join the purported Democratic conspiracy to impeach Obama!
  • Anyone surprised that the Religious Right movie “Persecuted” is now sponsoring Todd Starnes’ commentaries? 
  • God told Cliven Bundy to “disarm” the government so we don’t “face these same guns in a civil war,” says Cliven Bundy

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 8/5/14

  • Steve Deace mocks John Boehner: “I guess all the Tea Party leaders I’ve had on my nationally syndicated radio show calling for President Barack Obama’s impeachment the past 16 months were tools of ‘a scam started by Democrats,’ and they didn’t even know it.” 
  • Todd Starnes BURNS President Obama: “President Obama wrote in an op-ed for McClatchy News Service that we have a moral obligation to support Africa's progress. What about supporting America's progress, Mr. President?”

Meet The Latest Conservative To Cry Persecution: Iowa Newspaper Editor Who Said Satan Is Behind The 'Gaystapo'

We have watched conservatives claim again and again that they are the victims of liberal persecution, which allows them to then embark on the almost routine practice of filing a lawsuit with the help of a Religious Right legal group or making an appeal to the media, then appearing on right-wing talk radio shows and Fox News and then, if they are really good at describing their purported persecution, landing a book deal to allow them to repeat the process anew.

So meet the next contender in the persecution Olympics: Bob Eschliman, who lost his job at a newspaper after writing a blog post on his personal website about how people must fight Satan and his minions in the evil “Gaystapo.”

The Newton Daily News fired him as editor-in-chief over the blog post, which he has since bravely removed from his website. He insists that he is the victim of having “sincerely held religious beliefs” and is now suing the newspaper, citing religious discrimination.

Fox News commentator Todd Starnes – who frequently describes the plight of persecuted Americana Christians, even when he is completely making it up or pushing a totally untrue story – has predictably picked up Eschliman's tale and turned it into a column describing the tragic saga of this good, decent Christian man losing his Constitutional rights.

Bob Eschliman is a Christian. He’s also a veteran news editor. And when he decided to write a column on his personal blog objecting to a gay-friendly version of the Bible, Bob was unceremoniously marched out of the Newton Daily News and shoved out the front door.

After a brief investigation, the Iowa newspaper fired Bob and then publicly castigated him in an editorial. They accused him of compromising the reputation of the newspaper. They said what he wrote resulted in the loss of public trust.



“If you ask me, it sounds like the Gaystapo is well on its way,” Bob wrote. “We must fight back against the enemy.”



Wednesday, Bob filed formal charges with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission against Shaw Media and the Newton Daily News. Attorneys from Liberty Institute allege the newspaper and its parent company are guilty of religious discrimination and retaliation.

And based on my conversations with Liberty Institute attorneys – they’re going to go after the newspaper like a pit bull going after a pork chop.

“No one should be fired for simply expressing their religious beliefs,” Liberty Institute attorney Jeremy Dys told me. “That’s exactly what happened to Bob. This kind of religious intolerance has no place in today’s welcoming work force. In America, it is against the law to fire an employee for simply expressing a religious belief that his or her employer may not share.”

Dys said Bob was fired for trying to “explain his belief in Holy Scripture along with the definition of marriage.”



So are Shaw Media and the Newton Daily News anti-Christian? Do they employ executives who are religious bigots? Should journalists who endorse traditional marriage simply not apply for jobs?



And then there was the matter of the content. At first glance, it appears Bob was referring to the LGBT community as “the enemy.”

But it turns out – that’s not the case at all. He said he was referring to Satan – not homosexuals.



So for what it’s worth – Shaw Media decided that Bob, a faithful husband and father, a devout and outspoken Christian man, an award-winning journalist – did not represent the values of their company.

Maybe Shaw Media ought to reconsider its values.

It’s a shame a company that exists, thanks to freedom of press, wants to take away a man’s freedom of speech.

Richard Land Links Gay Rights To Nazi Germany

After lecturing liberals on why they are wrong to fault the United States for slavery, former Southern Baptist Convention official Richard Land drew a connection between the rise of gay rights and Nazi Germany.

While guest-hosting yesterday’s edition of “Washington Watch,” Land spoke with Fox News correspondent Todd Starnes about President Obama’s recent executive order to protect employees of federal government contractors from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

He told Starnes that conservatives need to stand up to “the gay thought police” or face Nazi-style persecution, mentioning Martin Niemöller’s anti-Nazi poem “First they came….”

Earlier in the show, Starnes said that Obama was “mocking and condescending” towards religion by saying “amen” while signing the executive order, because apparently opposing discrimination is incompatible with religious values.

“It was really a mocking, in-your-face sort of a move,” Starnes said.

Land, for his part, warned of “liberal McCarthyism” since now “the question is, ‘Are you now, or have you ever been opposed to homosexual and lesbian or gay, bisexual, transgender behavior?’”

But things were just getting started on “Washington Watch,” as Land later spoke with a caller who said she couldn’t understand “how seemingly intelligent people could have voted a president in by the name of Barack Obama so soon after 9/11, it doesn’t make sense to me.”

Rather than address her comments, Land went on a tangent about how Obama has an anti-American worldview and is to blame for everything from the drug war to Boko Haram’s kidnapping of girls in Nigeria.

Another Bogus Fox News Report: The University Of Wisconsin Will 'Adjust The Grades' Of Minority Students

In yet another case of Todd Starnes being a terrible reporter, the Fox News commentator said in a radio bulletin yesterday that the University of Wisconsin-Madison is going to begin factoring a student’s race into its grading system.

Starnes misrepresents the language, which dates back to 2009, of a stated university goal to see an improvement in the grades of students from “historically underrepresented racial-ethnic groups,” mangling it to suggest that the university would actually require professors to begin “adjusting the grades” of students based on their race. In other words, the school sees higher grades “as an outcome” of fostering diversity in academics, not as a mandated result.

“At face value, the University of Wisconsin seems to be sacrificing academic education on the altar of academic diversity. Whatever happened to giving kids the grades they deserved?” Starnes asked.

Good question! Maybe Starnes could use some of the journalism skills he learned in school to do some basic research — like a Google search — to see if his reporting holds water.

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 7/10/14

  • Todd Starnes says that "under this administration, the government believes they are church and President Obama is the deity."
  • Bryan Fischer says that Ann Coulter is "the Manchurian Columnist."
  • Laurie Higgins argues that if opposition to homosexuality is akin to racism "then cultural disapproval of polyamory, zoophilia, and scores of other paraphilias is wrong and akin to racism."
  • The Lord says, "I am already invading Hollywood far beyond what you can imagine."
  • Matt Barber asserts that the fact that support for ENDA is dropping over religious exemptions is proof "that what this is really all about is criminalizing Christianity and doing away with freedom of religion."
  • Finally, Scott Lively is running for governor in Massachusetts and his transportation plan is exactly as crazy as you'd expect: "Overcrowding in Mass. cities is a direct consequence of the globalist United Nations Agenda 21 project, which has been using land use policies and financial incentives to push humans out of the rural areas into the cities since 1992. Massachusetts has bought into Agenda 21 in a major way, though most citizens have never heard of it. I would reverse the Agenda 21 process and work to restore the model of environmentally-conscious self-sufficient agrarian farm-communities which New England was once known for, and which offer a substantially better and healthier way of life. This would alleviate the stress of overcrowding in the cities and restore struggling rural economies at the same time."

Todd Starnes Warns Of Anti-Duck Dynasty Violence, Links Same-Sex Marriage To Healthy Food Initiatives

In an interview last week with talk show host Jeanne Dennis, Fox News commentator Todd Starnes predicted that conservative Christians will soon organize acts of civil disobedience and street demonstrations akin to the Civil Rights Movement to protest their purported oppression.

Starnes specifically cited Phil Robertson, who was briefly suspended from the A&E show “Duck Dynasty” for making racist and anti-gay remarks in a magazine interview, as a victim of “persecution.”

He even said that criticism of Robertson will lead to violence: “If you can take someone like Phil Robertson and say, ‘Phil Robertson is preaching hate,’ or, ‘He’s speaking hate,’ eventually that is going to justify violence against those kinds of people.”

Later in the interview, Starnes linked same-sex marriage to feminism, which he said is waging “an attack on men” and “putting limitations” on women, and to Michelle Obama’s healthy diet and living initiatives, which he feared would lead to a ban on Nutter Butters and cheeseburgers.

Starnes said that feminism, same-sex marriage and the first lady’s health advocacy are all part of an attempt to “tear down the family unit” and make the government “control everything.” He finished by making a joke mocking transgender people.

Tony Perkins Fears Obama Will Start Putting Christians In Jail Any Day Now

Tony Perkins invited Fox News’ go-to-Christian-persecution-commentator Todd Starnes to join him on the weekend edition of “Washington Watch,” where Starnes pointed to recent remarks by Rick Warren and Russell Moore warning of the imminent imprisonment of Christians in America as proof that Christians will indeed soon face jail sentences.

Perkins, who recently warned that gay rights advocates are about to launch an anti-Christian Holocaust, naturally agreed that such arrests are going to “play out very quickly in our day.”

The Family Research Council president told Starnes: “I do think that it could very well come to that in our lifetime. A few years ago I didn’t think it would, not this quickly, but as we have seen the aggressive nature of this administration and this president and the open hostility of this administration toward orthodox faith — we have seen it in the HHS mandate, we have seen it in the numerous cases regarding marriage — I think it is going to come down to that.”

Religious Right Reacts To Hobby Lobby Decision: A Victory Over King George III And 'Subsidized Consequence Free Sex'

The Religious Right’s reaction to the Supreme Court’s decision in the Hobby Lobby case — in which the Court’s conservative majority ruled that some for-profit businesses must be exempt from the Affordable Care Act’s contraception coverage mandate — has started rolling in.

Erick Erickson sees the decision as a victory over the promiscuous:

Eric Metaxas thinks King George III would have been on the side of contraceptive insurance:

The Franciscan University of Steubenville compared businesses that don’t want to provide their employees with contraception coverage to religious martyrs in ancient Rome:

Steve Deace called the Green family, which owns the Hobby Lobby chain, "the Rosa Parks of the religious liberty fight" and urged the movement not to "settle" with just the Hobby Lobby victory:

If we play our cards right, and God grants us a favor, we can use this as a momentum changer. That’s mainly thanks to the Green family, who just became the Rosa Parks of the religious liberty fight. Just as her refusal to comply with an unjust edict on a bus one day blew the lid off the civil rights movement, perhaps the Greens’ refusal to comply with Obamacare’s unjust edict can accomplish the same for a similarly worthy cause.

But that won’t happen if we “settle” for this win like we have all too many others.

AFA’s Bryan Fischer thinks he knows Chief Justice John Roberts’ motivation to vote with the Court's majority:

And finally, the American Family Association is taking a poll:

The Persecution Myth: New Report Takes On The Right's Deceptive Rallying Cry

Every day we hear figures on the Religious Right declaring that conservative Christians in America are being persecuted by a government that has embraced, in the words of Samuel Rodriguez, “secular totalitarianism.”

This narrative has helped to feed the opposition to gay rights and reproductive rights, and has even been used to advocate against the rights of religious minorities. And it continues even as Christians and members of other minority faiths face real persecution throughout the world.

The Right has managed to gain traction with this narrative by providing a never-ending supply of martyrdom myths. These stories of children banned from praying and of Christmas celebrations curtailed are carried to a wide audience by people like Fox News’ Todd Starnes — and are often quickly proved to be completely apocryphal.

In a new report, "The Persecution Complex: The Religious Right’s Deceptive Rallying Cry," we look at the machine that produces those myths and how they are then used to influence public policy:

The tales of horror keep pouring in: Two middle school girls are forced into a lesbian kiss as part of an anti-bullying program; an Air Force sergeant isfired because he opposes same-sex marriage; a high school track team is disqualified from a meet after an athlete thanks God for the team’s victory; a Veterans Affairs hospital bans Christmas cards with religious messages ; a man fixing the lights in a Christmas tree falls victim to a wave of War-on-Christmas violence; an elementary school student is punished for praying over his school lunch; a little boy is forced to take a psychological evaluation after drawing a picture of Jesus.

None of these stories is true. But each has become a stock tale for Religious Right broadcasters, activists, and in some cases elected officials. These myths – which are becoming ever more pervasive in the right-wing media – serve to bolster a larger story, that of a majority religious group in American society becoming a persecuted minority, driven underground in its own country.

This narrative has become an important rallying cry for a movement that has found itself on the losing side of many of the so-called “culture wars.” By reframing political losses as religious oppression, the Right has attempted to build a justification for turning back advances in gay rights, reproductive rights and religious liberty for minority faiths.

Read the rest here .

Peter and I also discussed the report in a conference call with PFAW members a couple of weeks ago. You can listen to that here:

Todd Starnes 'Cannot Wait For The Day That We Have A President That Loves America'

Todd Starnes appeared on the AFA's "Today's Issues" radio program last week to discuss the release of Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl where he suggested that President Obama has "deserted" the United States of America.

Claiming that Bergdahl is a traitor who had betrayed his country, Starnes declared that "this soldier may not be the only one who has deserted; I think President Obama has deserted his obligations and responsibilities as President of the United States of America."

AFA president Tim Wildmon agreed, asserting that he feels like he is "living in the Twilight Zone" because "it's as if our own president is against our country ... I look at what's going on and I go 'whose side is this guy on?'"

While Wildmon predicted that this story would help the Republicans in the midterm elections because "Democrats are scurrying like rats on a ship that's on fire" to distance themselves from this story, Starnes simply stated that "I cannot wait for the day that we have a president that loves America":

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 5/27/14

  • Allen West just so happened to be seated next to someone on a plane who knew the "ground truth" about what really happened in Benghazi and he told him all about it!
  • Whenever something that the Religious Right supports gets banned from Facebook for violating hate speech standards, they throw a fit and scream "persecution."
  • Todd Starnes is unafraid to ask the hard questions: "Does Google Hate America?"
  • Michael Peroutka donated a dinosaur skeleton worth over a million dollars to the Creation Museum.
  • Finally, "Duck Dynasty's" Phil Robertson will address the Republican Leadership Conference on Thursday, presumably because the GOP is intent on constantly solidifying its reputation as the party of choice for people who don't like gays.

Starnes: 'I Feel Like Washington D.C. Is Twerking On All Of Us'

The only thing more painful than reading Todd Starnes' dreadfully unfunny book is listening to him recite "jokes" from it, as he did last week while hosting a panel on religious persecution at the Watchmen on the Wall conference.

Starnes, who always goes to great lengths to assure his audience that he remains a Southerner at heart despite the fact that he lives in the Park Slope neighborhood of New York City, told the gathering of pastors that the idea for this new book, "God Less America," came to him one day while sitting at brunch in Brooklyn when he realized that he is "a Duck Dynasty guy living in a Miley Cyrus world and I feel like Washington D.C. is twerking on all of us":

Religious Right Activists Working To Water Down Air Force Rules On Religious Coercion

Fox News pundit Todd Starnes made waves last year when he claimed that the Air Force was preparing to “court martial” Christians as part of an Obama administration “religious cleansing of the military.”

As it turned out, the policy on proselytizing that Starnes cited to make these claims [PDF] was crafted in 2008 – during the Bush administration – and in no way calls for the court martialing of Christians.

The regulations do stress that “leaders at all levels” should “avoid the actual or apparent use of their position to promote their personal religious beliefs to their subordinates or to extend preferential treatment for any religion. Commanders or supervisors who engage in such behavior may cause members to doubt their impartiality and objectivity. The potential result is a degradation of the unit’s morale, good order, and discipline.”

But the facts didn’t stop Republicans politicians and conservative activists from using the Bush-era policy to attack President Obama and to push for looser restrictions on religious proselytizing in the military.

And now, the Religious Right’s campaign may be succeeding in pressuring the Air Force to water down the 2008 policy. McClatchy reports today that while Air Force officials maintain that the accusations of religious persecution in the military aren’t true, they are considering altering the rules on religious coercion in response to pressure from the Right.

The Air Force reportedly convened a meeting to discuss the policy in March, and the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins is claiming that the service plans to “make a policy change shortly.”

In the “religious persecution in the military” meme, the Religious Right has found an issue that it can fundraise off in perpetuity that also works toward two of its main goals: attacking President Obama and undermining laws that promote the separation of church and state.

Don Boyd of the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty rightly asks: “If the claims of persecution are ‘not true,’ why change the policy? Americans who want to serve their country without receiving unwanted religious pressure should have some protection.”

McClatchy:

“The single biggest frustration I’ve had in this job is the perception that somehow there is religious persecution inside the United States Air Force,” Gen. Mark Welsh III told a House Armed Services Committee hearing earlier this spring. “It’s not true.” Welsh’s irritation underscored the pressure the Air Force is under from Republicans in Congress, evangelical Christians and conservative advocacy groups to end what they allege is the service’s suppression of religious freedom. Their charge isn’t new, but the target is: a regulation designed to prevent religious bias by barring commanders and other leaders from “the actual or apparent use of their positions to promote their religious convictions to their subordinates.”



“It’s when the commander becomes the preacher that we have a problem,” said a former senior defense official who dealt with the issue but requested anonymity in order to speak freely. “It’s commanders turning to subordinates and saying, ‘Here’s what makes my life worthwhile. It’s going to my church and subscribing to my views.’ ”



The Air Force defends the regulation as a measure that “seems to make good sense.” Yet the pressure — legislation, congressional hearings, meetings, letters, media statements and online appeals — to revise or dump it is having an impact.

Late last month, James and Welsh convened a “Religious Freedom Focus Day” conference of senior chaplains and legal and manpower officials to discuss the policy. An Air Force spokeswoman, Rose Richeson, declined to make the results of the April 28 meeting public, saying it would be “too premature to provide an interview.”

But Tony Perkins, the president of the Family Research Council, a Christian conservative policy institute that leads a coalition of organizations that are fighting the regulation, said that based on what he’d heard from people at the meeting he expected the Air Force to “make a policy change shortly.”

The prospect alarms supporters of the policy, who say a pro-Christian bias in the Air Force remains overwhelming and that the regulation provides an avenue of relief to service members who object to being regaled with their superiors’ religious views or who worry that declining invitations to “voluntary” Bible classes might jeopardize their fitness reports and chances of promotion.

The regulation has been “an umbrella in a tsunami of Christian fundamentalist extremism,” asserted Mikey Weinstein, the head of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation and a former Air Force officer whose outspokenness has won him scorn and death threats.

Since the regulation went into effect, 4,121 Air Force personnel have sought the organization’s help in fending off proselytizing by superiors, Weinstein said. The organization has a 95 percent “success rate” in ending “the offending behavior,” he said. Evangelical Christians draw the largest number of complaints — ironically enough, from fellow Christians, he said.



“We don’t advocate that someone in a position of authority use that authority to somehow force someone to participate in a religious activity,” Perkins said. “On the flip side of that is just because someone in a command position (has) a devotional or weekly Bible study and you invite your colleagues, there is nothing wrong with that as long as you are not requiring (attendance). It’s like asking someone to come play dominoes.”

Military culture, however, is very different from the civilian world, the regulation’s defenders responded. The services are closed, clannish and hierarchical, and in such an atmosphere a commander’s exhortation to follow his or her beliefs or an invitation to a voluntary prayer circle can be perceived as tantamount to an order.

To illustrate the point, Weinstein said his organization had received 17 complaints _ all from Protestants _ in early May after a commander at an Air Force base left invitations to a “Purity Ball” _ a religious, high school prom-like event attended by fathers and daughters _ on the chairs of three senior subordinates. The girls take vows to refrain from premarital sex.

The subordinates “understood that they had to distribute the invitations. They distributed them to 212 people,” said Weinstein, who declined to identify the base, the commander or the complainants because of confidentiality considerations.

Todd Starnes Jokes About 'The War Of Northern Aggression'

As we have mentioned before, Fox News correspondent Todd Starnes likes to use his schtick as a folksy Southerner with downhome charm to make up for his often totally false reporting.

Take for instance a recent appearance in Georgia, where Starnes dedicated most of his speech to describing how tough it is to be a good Southerner among the heathens of New York.

“I still can’t figure out how we lost the War of Northern Aggression, I just don’t get it living among those people,” he joked. “These are the folks that wear the skinny jeans and they have the mustaches, some of the girls do too.”

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