Ted Cruz's Dream Cabinet: Values Voter Summit Speakers Ready To Serve In The Cruz White House

It is no secret that Sen. Ted Cruz is a favorite of Religious Right activists. After all, at last year’s Values Voter Summit, the Texas Republican received a euphoric welcome and when one member of the audience declared that God supported Cruz’s effort to shut down the government, he was met with an enthusiastic round of applause. It’s no wonder that Cruz has won the hearts of the GOP’s far-right base, given his penchant for paranoid and incendiary rhetoric along with his boasts about his superior religious convictions.

And the affection seems to be mutual. If Cruz were to win the presidency in 2016, we imagine that his cabinet would look a lot like this week’s Values Voter Summit lineup.

So, we’ve decided to help Cruz out and pick him out a “dream cabinet” consisting exclusively of Values Voter Summit speakers.

Tony Perkins, Secretary of Homosexuality

To say that the Family Research Council leader and Values Voter Summit host is obsessed with homosexuality would be putting it mildly. Perkins fears that gays and lesbians are such a threat that he predicts they will bring about a holocaust of Christians. He calls gay people “vile” and “hateful” pawns of “The Enemy” — Satan — who are “engaged in activity, behavior and an agenda that will destroy them and our nation.”

Perkins spoke out in favor of Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Bill, which, at the time, included a provision making homosexuality an offense punishable by death in some cases. He has also labeled pedophilia a “homosexual problem.”

What’s more, Perkins comes with a built-in circle of anti-gay advisors: For instance, one of his FRC colleagues once suggested that the U.S. “export homosexuals” because “homosexuality is destructive to society.”

Mike Huckabee, Secretary of Women’s Issues

After vigorously campaigning on behalf of failed Senate candidate Todd Akin and defending the Missouri Republican’s “legitimate rape” comments, Huckabee somehow managed to become the RNC’s “model” for speaking about social issues. Huckabee further displayed this model behavior at an RNC meeting this year, where he claimed that Democrats see women as “helpless and hopeless creatures” who need help from “Uncle Sugar” because they “cannot control their libido.”

Huckabee is a strong supporter of “personhood” laws that would criminalize abortion in all cases, along with common forms of birth control. Although he said rules ensuring that Hobby Lobby employees have birth control coverage would destroy the freedom of religion, as governor of Arkansas, he signed regulations on contraception coverage that had a wider impact on religiously-affiliated groups than the federal rules he now denounces as abortion subsidies and threats to liberty.

Sandy Rios, Secretary of Chain Emails

Thankfully, American Family Radio talk show host Sandy Rios breaks through the biased liberal media filter by citing the news sources America trusts: chain emails. Rios has repeatedly pointed to spurious Internet hoaxes and urban legends to warn about how same-sex marriage is encouraging incest or to expose President Obama’s Muslim writings.

Rios has also cited erroneous right-wing chain emails to shine light on Obama’s purported plan to Islamize America and his real birth place (Kenya). While such stories may not technically be true, they definitely feel true!

Michele Bachmann, Secretary of Truth

Many politicians pretend to believe in outlandish things as a way to throw red meat to their party’s base, but the Secretary of Truth pretends nothing. Whatever you may think about Michele Bachmann, she really does seem to believe that vaccinations cause mental retardation, Obamacare death panels will “literally kill” people, gays want to “freely prey on little children sexually” and AmeriCorps programs are really “re-education camps.” Bachmann also claims to be an expert in Islam, Judaism and the End Times (or, as she believes, the present day).

In fact, Bachmann speaks so much truth that the Associated Press had to impose a fact-checking “quota” on her remarks.

Sarah Palin, Secretary of Syntax

Sarah Palin is known for her captivating way with words and is always providing new material for observers of an evolving English language. Since Cruz sees Palin as a “fearless” leader of the conservative movement, certainly she can serve in a role greater than poet laureate. After all, it’s not everyone who is able to rewrite (with help from the Internet) the works of Dr. Seuss:

Todd Starnes, Secretary of Scam Artistry

Fox News commentator Todd Starnes, ever the muckraker, claims to have blown the whistle on dozens of scandals involving anti-Christian persecution in America.

However, many of his reports have been completely debunked, including his stories about forced lesbian kisses in schools and discrimination against Christian athletes, kindergartenersfirst gradersmilitary service members and people celebrating Christmas. He has also falsely accused the military of court martialing Christians and blocking access to a church website, and made bogus statements about “gangs of roving thugs” and anti-Christian zealots running New York.

But don’t worry, none of these false reports have in any way negatively impacted Starnes’ career or his reputation, as he swears he only reports on “the most accurate information possible.”

Glenn Beck will also be addressing the summit, meaning that Starnes will have a real fight on his hands for this prestigious Cabinet office.

Jerry Boykin, Secretary of Islam

Protecting religious liberty is one of the major issues of the Values Voter Summit this year, and religious liberty has no better friend than FRC Executive Vice President Jerry Boykin, who cherishes the First Amendment so deeply that he wants to ban mosques and strip Muslim-Americans of their First Amendment rights (a view that FRC’s president, Tony Perkins, shares). Boykin insists that the Constitution should not protect Muslims because their religion will “destroy” America “from within.”

Boykin also believes that the Obama administration’s actions are part of a spiritual war against Christianity which will provoke people to “take up arms” against the government and even prompt military leaders to hope to “fulfill their constitutional duty and take out the president.”

Jim Bob Duggar, Secretary of Historical Analysis

Reality TV star Jim Bob Duggar, a frequent right-wing campaign surrogate whose son Josh serves as executive director of the Family Research Council, made a splash at last year’s summit when he said that a visit to a Nazi concentration camp reminded him of the U.S. today. Speaking of the Holocaust, he said, “that’s where we are at in our nation.” In Duggar’s telling, the Nazis are pro-choice advocates who have taken over America, while Duggar and his conservative movement allies are like concentration camp liberators.

While defending his remarks to the press, Duggar said Roe v. Wade has led to “a baby holocaust” no different than what took place in Nazi Germany.

Louie Gohmert, Secretary of Intelligence

Louie Gohmert, an actual congressman, has many smart things to say. For example, he believes that Obamacare will “absolutely kill senior citizens” and set up a “secret security force”; thinks America is worse off now than it was during the days of slavery; worries that “extreme leftists” and “radical jihadists” are working together to bring terror babies into the U.S.; and claims that Obama is “supporting” Al Qaeda and Democrats are hoping for terrorist attacks “to create a new jobs bill.”

He is also a zoologist, having warned that a wildlife protection bill would send animals to China and we would “end up with moo goo dog pan or moo goo cat pan.” He once also memorably defended oil pipelines by linking them to caribou sex.

Gohmert is an expert in the field of human sexuality, although he asserts that sex-ed classes are reminiscent of the Soviet Union. The Republican especially knows a thing or two about homosexuality, warning that gay marriage signals the collapse of civilization and will lead America “down the road to the dustbin of history”; claiming that those of “the persuasion of being homosexual” violate “the plumbing that God created”; insisting that gay people undermine humanity’s evolution (which he insists he doesn’t believe in himself); fearing that America will cease to exist because of gays serving openly in the military; and positing that gay marriage will lead to bestiality and extreme restrictions on gun rights.

Mat Staver, Secretary of Ex-Gays

While not an “ex-gay” himself, Liberty Counsel attorney Mat Staver is a leading proponent of sexual orientation conversion therapy and is attempting to bring his defense of the discredited, pseudo-scientific practice to the Supreme Court.

Staver has also been tied to an “ex-gay” client’s alleged kidnapping of her daughter to Central America to avoid sharing custody with the daughter’s other mother. He claims that gay people want to “entrap” and “groom” children and force them “into a lifestyle of destruction” by barring the use of ex-gay therapy on minors.

Staver will likely have many immediate policy changes to suggest, as he fears that the Obama administration supports “forced homosexuality” and likens fading opposition to gay rights to silence in Nazi Germany about the Holocaust.

Tony Perkins Tries To Cover Up His Own Anti-Gay Rhetoric

Family Research Council President Tony Perkins said yesterday on his “Washington Watch” radio show that progressive groups, including People For the American Way, are somehow attempting to “silence” him by sending RNC Chairman Reince Priebus an open letter calling on him to denounce the upcoming Values Voter Summit.

Perkins criticized the letter, particularly the group Faithful America which he claimed is “a group of people masquerading as ministers,” and said “the ad complains that me, personally, described homosexual activist Dan Savage’s attacks on Christians as disgusting. I believe people would be hard-pressed to disagree with my assertion if they watched what he had to say, he is vile.”

The advertisement, which you can read for yourself [PDF], actually cites a letter from Perkins attacking the anti-bullying It Gets Better campaign as an “immoral” and “disgusting” effort to “persuade kids that homosexuality is okay and actually to recruit them into that ‘lifestyle.’”

While Savage launched the It Gets Better Project, Perkins’ letter was clearly referring to the campaign rather than Savage himself, specifically mentioning the videos made by President Obama and Michelle Obama addressing bullying and uphold the value and dignity of LGBT youth.

After trying to cover up his own anti-gay rhetoric, Perkins then falsely claimed that the proposed constitutional amendment to overturn Citizens United would outlaw the freedom of speech.

“They want to silence their opponents,” Perkins said. “Because they know the truth will make a lot of Americans free from the lies and deception that the left pushes.”

Matt Barber Can't Decide Whether He Loves Or Hates The Freedom From Religion Foundation

On today's "Faith and Freedom" radio broadcast, Matt Barber was absolutely livid about letters of complaint sent by the Freedom From Religion Foundation to several school districts in Florida objecting to the practice of appointing chaplains for high school football teams, among other things.

School officials agreed to change these policies and Barber was not at all happy, calling the FFRF a "crazy" anti-Christian segregation organization that engages in "religious cleansing" by using "absurd" and "stupid" arguments, before asserting that groups like FFRF, the ACLU, and we here at People For the American Way are nothing more than "paper tigers" who need to just be fanned away like the "little flies buzzing around your head" and told to "go away."

But then Barber suddenly changed his tune when co-host Mat Staver reminded him that what "Satan intends of evil, God will turn things around for good."

"Amen," Barber responded, "and that has been the case historically from A.D. 1 and before, when it comes to Christianity. Christianity thrives and explodes under persecution and oppression, so I'm starting to wonder now if this Freedom From Religion Foundation might actually be a covert Christian organization that is intending to spread revival and an explosion in the church nationwide in public schools, and in the military, and throughout public forums. Keep it up, guys. Keep it up Freedom From Religion Foundation, you are helping spread the Gospel and the growth of Christianity."

Anti-Gay Pastor Likens Fight Against Marriage Equality To The American Revolution

Religious Right groups have for years employed what the National Organization for Marriage described as a plan to “to drive a wedge between gays and blacks.” But this week, the Thomas More Law Center unveiled a campaign to file amicus briefs opposing same-sex marriage on behalf of black preachers, boasting that this worn-out strategy is “a game changer” in the marriage equality debate.

In a press release announcing the game-changing strategy, one of the pastors warns that “every culture that has embraced a homosexual culture has suffered decadence, depravity, and decline,” while another alleges that gays and lesbians aren’t protected under the 14th Amendment.

Pastor Emery Moss even compares the fight to stop marriage equality to the Revolutionary War: “The American Revolution had taxation without representation and we’re going to have marriage legislation without representation. It’s un-American and all Americans should stand up against it.”

Richard Thompson, President and Chief Counsel of the Thomas More Law Center disclosed that a legal team has been formed to file friend-of-the-court briefs (amicus briefs) on behalf of a Coalition of African-American pastors and Christian leaders. The legal team consists of the Law Center’s senior trial counsel, Erin Mersino, and co-counsels William R. Wagner and John S. Kane of Lansing, MI.

Thompson explained, “In its briefs, the Law Center reflects the voice of a majority of African-Americans that discrimination because of one’s sexual preference is not the same thing as racial discrimination and that tradition and morality should not be discarded as a basis of the law; as the pro-homosexual judges have done in their opinions.”



Bishop Samuel Smith, of the Apostolic World Christian Fellowship consisting of 25, 000 churches worldwide representing over 5 million laity, stated: “Every once in a while, the homosexual agenda makes an effort to redefine morality, but history tells us, that every culture that has embraced a homosexual culture has suffered decadence, depravity, and decline.”

Pastor Danny Holliday, Pastor of Victory Baptist exclaimed, “We all know that the 14th Amendment was made because Black folk were considered as property. Gays have never been considered as property.”

Evangelist Janet Boynes, a former lesbian and member of the Coalition related from her own experience, “There is no substitution for the role of a father and a mother. I know this to be true. I was in a homosexual lifestyle with a woman who had two children and I tried to fulfill the role of a dad. As time went on, I realized that I wasn’t equipped nor built to be a daddy.”

Pastor Emery Moss, of Strictly Biblical, said, “The American Revolution had taxation without representation and we’re going to have marriage legislation without representation. It’s un-American and all Americans should stand up against it.”

Bryan Fischer Says Obama Is Seeking 'To Minimize The Number Of Dead Terrorists' In Airstrikes

At the end of yesterday's radio program, Bryan Fischer suggested that the Obama administration's airstrikes against ISIS and other militants in Iraq and Syria are being carried out in a manner intentionally designed "to minimize the number of dead terrorists."

Fischer asserted that the administration is carrying out the airstrikes at night and is only targeting empty buildings because "they apparently do not want to kill terrorists."

"Ladies and gentlemen, the terrorists are the enemy," he said, "and these strikes seem to be calculated to minimize, rather than maximize, the inflicting of casualties on our enemies."

Fischer, of course, once again has absolutely no idea what he is talking about, as these strikes have reportedly killed the leader of the al-Nusra Front as well as hundreds of other militants.

Tony Perkins: 'Radical Homosexual Lobby' Will Destroy Democracy

In a fundraising email yesterday for the Family Research Council’s Campaign for the American Family, FRC President Tony Perkins warned that democracy in the U.S. is on the brink of collapse.

Why?

As Perkins explains, “far Left activists and the radical homosexual lobby” plan to destroy America’s “foundation,” bringing down democracy with it.

Unlike the government, we can't raise taxes or levy fees. No, FRC is solely dependent on the generous donations of friends. Period.

But it's about more than budgets. American democracy simply cannot survive -- and certainly not thrive -- unless Judeo-Christian values are allowed to flourish in the hearts and lives of American families.

We cannot let that foundation be crushed by far Left activists and the radical homosexual lobby. We must stand up for what is right and good, no matter the cost.

Standing tall -- representing your values, protecting your religious freedom -- is a costly effort that requires your financial support.

Right Wing Round-Up - 9/24/14

Right Wing Bonus Tracks - 9/24/14

  • A group of Louisiana religious leaders has sent a letter to Gov. Bobby Jindal asking him not to attend the upcoming Values Voter Summit.
  • Molotov Mitchell says that "Imam Hussein Obama" is being anti-Semitic when he uses the term "ISIL."
  • Selena Owens declares that "for America to survive this atrocious, lawless current administration, as well as the effects of many years of bailouts, sellouts and cop-outs, godly leaders must lead America."
  • A bunch of right-wing groups and activists will gather in Washington, D.C. tomorrow for the 2014 Black Conservative Summit.
  • Peter LaBarbera is predictably outraged about being featured in the Human Rights Campaign's "The Export of Hate" report.
  • Finally, a woman named Janna Darnelle explains how gay marriage destroyed her family because her gay husband asked for a divorce instead of simply not being gay and staying married to her.

Perkins: Obama 'Despises The Military' And Wants To Destroy It

Family Research Council President Tony Perkins blasted President Obama yesterday for sending military service members to help combat the Ebola virus in West Africa while ruling out putting boots on the ground in the fight against ISIS.

“This president, I think, despises the military and everything that it stands for and has systematically been dismantling it and demoralizing our military,” Perkins said on his “Washington Watch” radio program.

Perkins also attacked Obama for deploying military personnel to West Africa to assist in areas such as safety, engineering and logistics: “They’re not trained for that, not equipped for that, don’t necessarily understand that, but we’re sending the military to do that. That is the response of a community organizer, not a commander-in-chief, that’s the community-organizer-in-chief is what that is, but it has devastating consequences for national security and all of our families.”

Of course, the U.S. military has long been involved in relief operations, and Ebola could threaten global stability and security if it continues to spread.

'It's Really Sick': Glenn Beck Says Dinesh D'Souza Is 'A Political Prisoner'

Dinesh D'Souza is now basically taking a victory lap around conservative media outlets after having avoided a prison sentence for violating campaign finance laws, appearing on Glenn Beck's radio show today to assert that he was directly targeted by President Obama because Obama is "a petty, vindictive guy."

D'Souza insisted that he was only prosecuted for breaking the law because President Obama lashes out at all of his critics because "he is a very dysfunctional guy with a very dysfunctional family. I mean, he's got family members who have each other followed, they spread rumors and try to undermine each other, they hire people to look out and so this is a very bizarre situation and Obama is a very petty, vindictive guy."

"I don't have to speculate that he doesn't like me, I know that," D'Souza asserted, "and it's hard for me to believe that [the government was] treating me normally, like any other guy who did this."

Glenn Beck agreed, declaring that D'Souza was "the first real political prisoner that I have seen this president make."

"This is a political prisoner, make no mistake," Beck said. "He was only prosecuted, they only found this stuff because they were going through everything to stop him. And it's sick. It's really sick":

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