The Don’t Ask, Don’t tell policy has been denounced by a vast majority of Americans, rejected by the leaders of the military, and, if Republicans decide not to filibuster, will be finally on its way out in this year’s Defense Authorization bill. But, for now, the policy is still driving talented and dedicated Americans away from serving in the armed forces.

The New York Times yesterday interviewed several gay and lesbian current and former West Point cadets on the pressures of serving their country while hiding their identities. Katherine Miller is a 20-year-old cadet who left West Point this month after two years of being unable to follow both the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy and the Cadet Honor Code to “not lie, cheat, steal or tolerate those who do.”

“It was a whirlpool of lies — I was violating the honor code every time I socialized,” she said in an interview.

Ms. Miller, who ranked 17th in her West Point class, wrote in her Aug. 9 resignation letter: “I have lied to my classmates and compromised my integrity and my identity by adhering to existing military policy. I am unwilling to suppress an entire portion of my identity any longer.”

The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network has been releasing a letter a day this week from family members of those who have been harmed by Don’t Ask Don’t Tell to the Pentagon officials charged with surveying straight military spouses about the policy. Pam’s House Blend is posting all the letters.

The parents of an Army sergeant who was fired because of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell wrote:

As parents, this law offends us deeply. It tells us that our gay and lesbian children who are in uniform and putting their lives on the line every day, saving lives, are not good enough to serve their country. The law discriminates against family members, forcing fear and anguish into their lives. Our sons and daughters should be judged on their performance, loyalty to country and bravery, not their sexual orientation.

The partner of a Navy captain who survived the Sept. 11 attack on the Pentagon wrote:

As the numbness began to wear off, it hit me how incredibly alone I would have been had Joan been killed. The military is known for how it pulls together and helps people; we talk of the “military family,” which is a way of saying we always look after each other, especially in times of need. But, none of that support would have been available for me, because under DADT, I didn’t exist.

In fact, I would have been one of the last people to know had Joan been killed, because nowhere in her paperwork or emergency contact information had Joan dared to list my name.

Congress and the military may be on the path to repealing DADT…but as they meander down that path, injustices continue to pile up.